Soul Work

Four Women, Four Answers: The Power of Synchronicity

2008-08-23T12:42:00.008+08:00

How do you explain it when three seemingly disconnected individuals are brought together by one person and one event that just may change the course of their lives?

* * *

It wasn’t an ordinary day, by all means, because it was Carissa’s 29^th birthday and her last weekend with us here in Manila before she flies back to New York. But the gathering seemed low-key enough—just family and a handful of friends—without any indications that something BIG (and yet ordinary in other people’s eyes) was about to happen.

I was seated next to a pretty, charming-looking lady who was introduced to me as Joy. The initial conversation was standard fare—about what we did, where we worked, and so on. I soon found out that I knew her husband through work, and her brother-in-law through school. I immediately felt a connection with her because, like me, she was an entrepreneur. And, like me, she was in the process of writing a book, guided by Carissa’s gentle prodding. We were off to a good start.

As soon as dinner was over and we were getting ready to move up to Carissa’s pad, we were joined by another lady whom Carissa insisted Joy had to meet. Tricia seemed just a few years older than us, looking very amiable and sophisticated in the way she carried herself, then she and Carissa discovered that they might even be cousins! Synchronicity was getting a good head start, and we soon found ourselves saying goodbye to Carissa’s family and heading up for more private girl talk.

The next few hours seemed more like a gathering of old girlfriends than of strangers who had met just a few hours earlier. Apparently, Joy had met Carissa only the day before the party, and then Tricia and Carissa had met only the week before that, but both of them had already felt a kinship with this amazing lady who had brought us all together that night. And as the conversation flowed and intimate details revealed—a few hours later, aided by some delicious wine from Cav—we were all awestruck by the fact that each of us was searching for clues to our own truths—truths that someone else in the group was already living out.

Two girls wanted to write a book; another already had. Two girls wanted to get married someday; two already had. One girl was considering adopting a child; one was in the process of finalizing hers. One girl wanted a house of her own; another had just finished building hers and paying off the loan. One girl wondered about the emotional bond between an adoptive parent and a child; another was reminded of her adoptive parent’s love and wanted to be reconciled. By the end of the evening, we all had our respective “assignments” and we promised to check up on each other’s progress.

We realized last night that, sometimes, the thing that seems far-fetched and challenging for you is the thing that seems ordinary to and taken-for-granted by the other. You see the other as a reminder that nothing is impossible. You, in turn, become living proof of how wishes can come true.

* * *

As I write this, I replay the evening’s events in my mind as if I were watching some fully-scripted Hollywood chick flick. Four girls meet each other at a party, not knowing that Fate had brought them together as part of their search for truth and love. They enter the experience as strangers; they emerge from it soul sisters ("soul sistahs") who know that, somehow, life will never be the same after that night. One will become a mother (“motha”). One will become an author (“autha”). One will become a lover (“lovah”). Another will become a changemaker (“changemakah”). Each will remember that night and the promises that it brought, remembering that, indeed, "when you truly want something, the Universe will conspire to make it happen."

(Ah, Mr. Coelho would be proud...)

Undistracted Energy: Pure Thoughts

2008-08-23T10:41:00.004+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

If we make no effort at all, our thoughts usually scatter in a vast array of directions. They start and stop and move in surprising ways from one second to the next. If we try to follow our thoughts without controlling them, we will be amazed at how truly inconsistent they are. Yet, if we apply our minds to a specific task, especially one that interests us, they gather together and allow us to focus our attention, creating great power and energy. This is what is known as pure thought, because it is undistracted.

The law of attraction—like attracts like—influences all energy, including our thoughts, and this is what makes pure thought so potent. Our undistracted thoughts create a powerful magnet that draws similar energy into our vibrational field. As a result, the longer we are able to hold positive thoughts in our minds, the more powerful the positive energy around us becomes. We don’t need to focus on action and controlling so much when we are surrounded by energy that draws what we want toward us. We can simply respond to the opportunities that naturally come our way. When this is the essence of our experience, we can go with the flow, knowing that we will be okay.

If pure thought is a body, it is our emotions that supply the heart that can really bring it to life. Our thoughts and feelings exist in relation to one another, and they form a feedback loop through which they communicate and empower each other. When we hold a thought in our mind without being distracted, we have achieved pure thought. When we have a positive emotional response to that thought, we enable it to dance and move and breathe itself into existence.

__
Photo credit: Stephen Johnson for Getty Images

Epiphanies, Acceptance, and Liberation

2008-06-24T18:36:00.001+08:00

June 2008

While the rest of the country was gearing up for Independence Day celebrations, I was going through an inner struggle for freedom. Part of me wanted to fulfil the self-imposed deadlines and obligations that I had set for myself (wife by 28, mother by 30, full-time activist/advocate forever); another part of me wanted to break free from these labels, knowing that our lives are what we make them to be regardless of titles and deadlines—and recognizing that my life hasn’t even been made yet. I was no longer happy. I was no longer inspired. I was no longer fulfilled. Worst of all, I looked to the future with dread. That clearly wasn’t me, and I had to find myself again. (I wanted to ask the world to stop turning and allow me to get off for a while, but it wouldn’t budge.)

The decisions had to be made one after the other—or, rather, they pretty much snowballed into each other such that I no longer remember which one came first.

One was the decision to acknowledge an encounter for what it was: bittersweet, disconcerting, but, eventually, enlightening. I realized that it wasn’t so much the actors in that encounter that matter, but the content and the context. It happened when it did and the way it did because I had to go through it. I had to learn from it. And I’m still learning from it. (The complete lesson will unfold in due time, but I have to allow the process to happen—very, very carefully.)

While that was going on, I made another crucial decision: to postpone any plans of marriage and children for at least two years to give myself (and my beloved as well) time to look deep within and experience the deep, profound joy of true self-discovery. I’m in the process of finding myself—I’m excavating key pieces of the puzzle day by day—and it would be unfair to myself if I stopped just because I had to stick to a particular wedding date. I’m not saying that marriage will stop me from finding myself (for other people, it actually works to get them there faster); but I’m saying that I’ve realized that the timing is SIMPLY NOT RIGHT. It will happen. Eventually. The way we want it—the way it’s supposed to happen. But not now. Because if I pushed it, I’d end up resenting my love, my family, and most of all, myself. And THAT I can’t bring into a marriage.

How will I know when the time is right? I’ll just know. The way I did when I decided it was time for the next decision.

I’m leaving for Australia next year, and I’ve dubbed it my Great Australian Adventure (GAA). The events leading up to that decision happened pretty fast, but they also happened in slow-motion, such that I could practically see every frame of every scene of that strip. And, if my life were a DVD, that particular chapter would have a special audio commentary because I seemed to know EXACTLY why things were happening the way they were, in real-time. It was as if a voice were guiding me through the entire process and telling the audience (myself included) what would happen next. Let’s save the juicy details for another blog entry, but to make the story short, within the span of four weeks I had: (1) made a decision to look for exposure abroad, (2) found a program that I liked and a scholarship that went with it, (3) worked on my application documents, (4) got accepted into the program, and (5) made a decision to REALLY GO FOR IT—no matter what happens next. It was a nerve-wracking month, to say the least, but it’s been the most fulfilling one so far, if only because I allowed myself to dream again. And THAT was a big part of getting myself back.

Yes, I learned to dream FOR MYSELF again. I learned to let go of the guilt associated with doing what I want (for me, not for others) and fully experienced the joy of envisioning a future I could be happy with. It is a future filled with abundance and deep contentment—a future in which I am the leading lady and not just somebody’s supporting actor. It is a future that VALIDATES and INTEGRATES everything that I’ve been doing so far, everything that I AM.

This, I realized, is what set me free: realizing that there ought to be no guilt in fully living one’s life for one’s self because living fully also means giving, sharing, helping (or at least in my context it does). I realized that if I just ALLOWED MYSELF to be, then I will become the best version of myself that I could possibly be, and that would benefit other people as well. But I shouldn’t worry about them yet; I should focus on myself first so that my cup will be filled and can later on flow out to others. I’ve put others’ dreams and goals ahead of mine for so long that I’d forgotten what it was like to honor myself and my goals.

Well, this time, I’m being honoured, and I’m doing the honoring. I didn’t let anyone stop me. And it feels damn good.

Going Back By Going Within: Healing Childhood Wounds

2008-04-16T05:36:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Events from childhood, our first experiences, have the power to shape our lives. Some do so immediately, offering us challenges to overcome and encouragement to make use of our talents and interests. In the process character is built, and we make the first steps upon our personal paths. Other events seem to lay dormant until adulthood, when our closest relationships help to bring out the deepest aspects of ourselves. This is when unexamined lessons can be put to use and untended childhood wounds make themselves known in a call for healing.

We may discover issues of trust coming up, or perhaps we find ourselves mirroring actions from our past instinctively. No matter the case, we have the power within us to heal ourselves at the deepest level. With the wisdom of an adult, we can be the loving parent or guardian we needed as a child. Knowing that we are each whole spiritual beings having a human experience, we can nurture ourselves from that wholeness, and then reach out to others as well. We can recreate scenarios in our mind’s eye, trying different outcomes and following them to their logical conclusions. In doing so, we may be able to imagine possible reasons a situation occurred as it did, and even accept that it could not have happened any other way. With the wisdom born from age and experience, we might be able to see events from a different perspective, bringing new understanding and freeing ourselves from any hold the past may have on us.

Life offers opportunities to clear these weeds in the gardens of our souls. However, when we want to focus on easier and more pleasant tasks, we are likely to pass up the chances, leaving the wounds to continue to drain our energy and resources for living life fully today. We might find we need support to face the events of the past, so turning to a trained professional who can offer tools for healing can be a valid choice. As long as we remember that the child we were lives on within us, we are always free to go back and right old wrongs, correct mistaken perceptions, heal wounds, forgive, and begin anew.

Quote of the Day

2008-04-15T05:48:00.000+08:00

"Why do people prefer to believe in something far away and forget what is there before their eyes, a true manifestation of the miracle?"

~ Edda in The Witch of Portobello, by Paulo Coelho

The Sun's Curse: A poem for the heartbroken

2008-04-15T05:36:00.000+08:00

THE SUN’s CURSE

First read on 14 April 2008

during Romancing Venus: Heat

at Mag:net Cafe Katipunan

A single ray

It penetrates

Pierces

Enflames

Burns

It seeks out

That sweet spot

Where one touch

One kiss

Will send raptures

Through the skin

Consuming everything

That crosses its path

A light of

Eternal contradictions

It is forever present

But never reveals

Its face

It is forever searching

Yet it refuses

To be held

It is always fiery

Yet never warm

It gives life from afar

And kills from up close

Seek it out

And you will perish

I know

For you are like the ray

Your eyes

Scan the horizon

For a target—

A truth

It seeks to own

They pierce

And penetrate

Never stopping

Until flesh is exposed

Until one stands naked

Vulnerable

Bare

Until the fiery rapture

Of singular passion

Consumes everything

In its reach

Reducing everything

To ashes

To nothingness

Nobody ever understood you

And yet they all loved you

They all wanted to be found—

All wanted to be consumed

Even if it meant

Surrendering

To everything that you were—

Everything they did not know

Your eyes were forever present

Yet nobody caught a glimpse

Of your soul

Your face remained unknown

You were forever searching

Yet you were eternally impenetrable

Each glance

Each touch

Each kiss

Bore a hole

Through the heart

And left nothing

But emptiness

And pain

And where are you now?

High up

In the distant heavens

Where all you could do

Is watch from afar

And nurse your silent cries

For nobody will hear you

Nobody will touch you

Nobody will love you

Not anymore

~ Niña Terol

Solace In Service: Doing For Others

2008-04-15T05:33:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

When we feel bad, often our first instinct is to isolate ourselves and focus on what’s upsetting us. Sometimes we really do need some downtime, but many times the best way to get out of the blues quickly is to turn our attention to other people. In being of service to others, paradoxically, we often find answers to our own questions and solutions to our own problems. We also end up feeling more connected to the people around us, as well as empowered by the experience of helping someone.

When we reach out to people we can help, we confirm that we are not alone in our own need for support and inspiration, and we also remind ourselves that we are powerful and capable in certain ways. Even as our own problems or moods get the better of us sometimes, there is always someone else who can use our particular gifts and energy to help them out. They, in turn, remind us that we are not the only people in the world with difficulties or issues. We all struggle with the problems of life, and we all feel overwhelmed from time to time, but we can almost always find solace in service.

In the most ideal situation, the person we are helping sheds light on our own dilemma, sometimes with a direct piece of advice, and sometimes without saying anything at all. Sometimes just the act of getting our minds out of the obsessive mode of trying to figure out what to do about our own life does the trick. Many great inventors and artists have found that the inspiration they need to get to the next level in their work comes not when they’re working but when they’re walking around the block or doing dishes. We do ourselves and everyone else a great service when we take a break from our sorrows and extend ourselves to someone in need.

You know it's true love when...

2008-04-14T20:38:00.000+08:00

... He inspires the poetess within you.

Every day.

*Thank you, sweetie*

Let Yourself Be Carried: The Flow of the Universe

2008-04-10T07:16:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

The flow of the universe moves through everything. It is in the rocks that form, get pounded into dust, and are blown away. It is in the blossoming of a flower born from a seed planted in the spring. The growth cycle that every human being goes through is part of this natural flow, which is also the current that takes us down life’s paths. When we move with it rather than resisting it, we are riding on the universal wave that allows us to flow with life.

Many people live struggling against this current. They try to use force or resistance to will their lives into happening in the way they think it should. Others move with it like a sailor using the wind, trusting that the universe is taking them exactly where they need to be at all times. This flow is accessible to everyone because it travels through and around us. We are always riding it—it is just a matter of whether we are willing to go with it or we resist it. Choosing to go with the flow is often a matter of relinquishing the notion that we need to be in control at all times.

The flow is always transporting you where you need to go. It is merely a question of deciding whether you plan on accepting the ride or having it take you there with your feet dragging. Learning to step into it can help you feel a connection to a force that is greater than you and is always there to support you. The decision to go with the flow takes courage because you are surrendering the belief that you need to do everything by yourself. Riding the flow of the universe can be effortless, exhilarating, and unlike anything you ever expected. When you are receptive to being in it, you open yourself to possibilities that exist beyond the grasp of your control.

As a child, you were naturally swept by the flow. Tears of sadness falling down your face could just as quickly turn to tears of laughter. The mere tiniest wave carrying you forward off the shores of the ocean could transport you into peals of delight.

Our souls feel good when we go with the flow of the universe. All we have to do is make the choice to ride its currents.

We Each Have a Post to Man (by Niña Terol)

2008-04-09T20:34:00.000+08:00

We Each Have a Post to Man

By Niña Terol

The most interesting emails that I’ve gotten lately are from friends who don’t usually participate in political or social discussions in our respective egroups, but who pipe in once in a while—and quite passionately—about where they’re coming from as young professionals trying to build careers and families.

“I am not being apathetic, but my priority now is to establish myself and provide for myself and my family.”

“My role in society is to run my business well, provide opportunities for growth for my employees, and make sure that everyone is paid well and on time so that they, in turn, can provide for their families.”

“I work hard, obey the law, and pay taxes. I think I’m doing my fair share already.”

“I care about what happens to this country, but I simply don’t know what to do.”

“I’m busy enough as it is. I want to make sure that whatever I do for the country will produce concrete results.”

I hear you. And I understand.

* * *

In my work as a volunteer of several organizations I have met many talented, brilliant, and passionate individuals who make their own significant contributions within their own lines of interest and their own skill sets. There is Frankie Varona, immediate past president of the Ateneo Alumni Association (AAA), who worked tirelessly to inspire the AAA and the Ateneo community to work on programs for Gawad Kalinga. There is Niel Lim, Team RP’s Communications Head, who uses his own passion for journalism and political communications to ensure that Team RP’s message cuts through the media clutter (and all this while working on his master’s thesis!). There is Czarina Medina, editor of Starfish Magazine, who contributes valuable time, expertise, connections, and passion to feed the minds and souls of young leaders from around the country. There is Anna Rojas, my “soul sister” from our Globe Telecom days, who went way out of her way to mobilize resources to build a library in Sta. Teresa, Guimaras. There are many people who seem to do extraordinary things simply by giving off a few hours each week to work on something they really believe in.

But then, not all of us can be volunteers. Not all of us have the luxury of time, or flexibility, or liquidity, or emotional support, to be able to give off ourselves without the benefit of a paycheck or a positive performance appraisal or an additional client. Not all of us can take off from work in the middle of the day to attend yet another committee meeting, or build a GK home, or plan a socio-civic event. Most of us barely even have time to really spend time with our loved ones or read a good book or take a walk. How can we be expected to participate in volunteer efforts or—God forbid—engage government in long-term reforms that might even not be implemented?

The answer, to put it quite simply, is this: Man your own post.

Yes, it is true that not all of us can be volunteers—and not all of us can volunteer for the same thing. We each have different beliefs, different value systems, different principles, different socio-cultural backgrounds, and so on, but one thing is certain: we are all good at something. Many of us use this “something”—whatever it may be—for work, while some of us keep “bread-and-butter” jobs and save our true passions for the weekend. But we all have skills, we all have talents, and we all have friends. Each of us can maximize these three elements to make positive change happen in society.

* * *

Use your skills. As a communicator and a project manager, I use my skills to maintain a freelance practice. Fortunately, this has allowed me to allocate a substantial amount of time for volunteer efforts. In my work with Team RP, I try to use my communications and organizational skills to get things organized, to move things along, and so on. I chose Team RP—a reform-oriented group that seeks to engage media, government, and key stakeholders in the pursuit of truth, accountability, and reform—because I love policy work. I enjoyed serving a legislative role in the student council when I was in college, and I enjoy being able to work on changes from a political/legislative standpoint. This kind of work might not appeal to others at all, but it does to me, and so I do it.

You might be an account executive, or an entrepreneur, or an analyst. It’s perfectly okay if you don’t volunteer for any socio-civic projects, but maybe you could convince your clients or colleagues to adopt a social dimension to your organizational efforts. Maybe you could adopt a community and tie it in with your brand’s strategic objectives. Or you might sponsor a video to convince first-time voters to register while it’s still early. You could find ways to help us policy-oriented folk by directing the private sector’s attention to our efforts. Or you could help us craft our messages. Or you could share with us some information you got while researching for a presentation. In your hands (or brains, or PCs) is something that somebody else needs. Maybe the best thing you could do for your country is share a little bit of that. (Or convince your clients and colleagues to do so.)

Use your talents. Once in a while, I get tapped to do hosting gigs. Just tonight I emceed for the induction ceremonies of the Ateneo Alumni Association. Every so often, I write articles for the AAA website, or for Blueblood—the alumni magazine. I’d do these things—write and host/talk onstage—even if I weren’t paid for it. So I might as well do it to help others.

Meanwhile, my beloved is a performance artist who gets paid to perform his Kali Drum and his water bottles at gigs and events. But every so often he does pro bono workshops to empower barangay children, or performs for free in fund-raising concerts or concerts for a cause because he believes that his music has relevance. Whatever your talent is, whatever you’re most passionate about, you could help bring about concrete change by mixing the two well, even just once in a while.

Use your friends. In this age of social networking—of egroups and social networking sites and blogs—everyone has friends. Everyone has a fan base. We can make the most of whatever influence we have by being part of the all-important social exchange. Let’s share information—about issues, about volunteer opportunities, about causes, about petitions—and let’s engage our friends in the causes we’re most passionate about. Let’s engage in what the folks at YPS (Young Public Servants) call “social conversations.” Once in a while, over a meal or a snack, let’s ask our friends and family members what they think about important issues. Should we go on a “family diet” in view of the looming rice crisis? Should we cut back on our Starbucks coffee session and use the money to donate to a charity? What does your brother think about the necessary qualities for a leader of the Philippines? Talking might not lead to concrete solutions yet—but they help clarify issues, crystallize ideas, and connect people. We sure need a lot of that in an age of snap judgements, shallow thought, and divisiveness.

* * *

There’s a saying that goes “bloom where you’re planted.” Each of us is a different plant (or flower), with different characteristics, and we’re all planted somewhere. Our society is facing so many challenges that it won’t take a single, homogenous group of people to find or create solutions. We need all kinds of people to do different things so that different issues and concerns are addressed. We need people everywhere to work on a specific area so that positive change snowballs and happens sooner rather than later.

So it’s okay if you don’t join my cause, or if you don’t support this particular project. But maybe there is a cause or a project to which you can contribute, either voluntarily or as part of your job. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that people everywhere recognize that change needs to happen, and that they have the power to do something. When we thought of the name for Team RP, we wanted to imbibe the “team philosophy” that permeates through sports teams. Wherever you are in the world, whatever it is that you’re doing, if you’re Filipino then you belong to one team—THIS team. And we each have a post to man. It’s just a matter of knowing where that is and stepping up to the plate.

Questions, comments, reactions? Email me at nina.terol@gmail.com.

Quote of the Day

2008-04-09T18:41:00.000+08:00

"... If your soul could communicate with your brain, you would be able to change even more things."

~ Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

(Now I'm sure you can guess what book I'm reading Ü)

Zen Commute: Discovering Ourselves in Traffic

2008-04-09T09:24:00.000+08:00

*Serenity in the midst of rush-hour Manila traffic? Maybe, maybe...* ~ N

Taken from The Daily Om

No one wants to be angry with a fellow human being who is lost or confused, but if we get stuck driving behind one, we may find ourselves feeling wildly, uncharacteristically impatient. It is our earnest goal to have compassion and love for other people, but when one of them cuts us off, we feel personally offended, angry, and hurt. The good news is that by experiencing these difficult emotions, we have the opportunity to see ourselves and change our approach. In that light, being stuck in traffic can become a vital part of our spiritual practice.

Sages of all faiths agree that the current moment is the only thing that really exists. The past and future are equally irrelevant in the presence of the now. Therefore, at the deepest level, there is nowhere to go, because the only place we need to be is here, now. Just reminding ourselves of this in the midst of traffic can be extraordinarily helpful. The Zen mantra “Nowhere to go / No one to be / Nothing to do” can work wonders on our panicky misperception that we need to get somewhere fast. By remaining in the moment, we inevitably get to our destination. We don’t need to push or rush or panic.

Another tool used throughout the ages to maintain enlightened awareness is breath meditation. The simple act of consciously inhaling and exhaling grounds us in our bodies, reminding us where we are, who we are, and how precious our life is. When we connect deeply to our own existence in this way, many of the petty thoughts and feelings that can dominate our minds dissolve without any effort. We have breathed our way back to sanity.

From this place of awareness, you can feel compassion for the drivers who are banging their steering wheels and blaring their horns, even if they are honking at you. You know it is not personal; they have simply lost perspective. On your exhale, send out a wish that they, too, find the cool ease of the present moment.

Anger, Despair, and Hope in the Time of Rendition

2008-04-08T08:06:00.000+08:00

One ordinary Friday night, I came face to face with the kind of anger and despair that I didn’t realize I had in me. It was the kind that made me cry for people I did not know, for faces I did not see, for a society I did not understand. It made me question the pillars of my existence—everything that I had based my life upon—and it made me see the pettiness of human life. What is the point of all this?, I cried out. Nothing could comfort me then; these thoughts still haunt me until now.

I was watching Rendition, the 2007 film about an Egyptian immigrant to the United States who is abducted by the CIA for being suspected of having links to an Islamic terrorist group. Reese Witherspoon, one of my favorite actresses, plays Isabella El-Ibrahimi, the distraught and very pregnant wife of Egyptian Anwar El-Ibrahimi (Omar Metwally), who seems to have disappeared from his flight home without a trace. Jake Gyllenhaal plays Douglas Freeman, a CIA analyst whose job it is to “secure information” about Anwar’s suspected terrorist links and their activities—no matter what it takes. Meryl Streep plays the cold, calculating, and unfeeling CIA boss, Corinne Whitman, who ensures that nothing about Anwar’s whereabouts or the CIA’s underground activities leak out to the public.

I shall not go into plot details here; I admit that there were times when I was too caught up in my own reflections to pay full attention to how the story unfolded. Nonetheless, I was riveted and engaged for most of the movie—to the point where everything seemed very real and close to home. And then the tears started falling.

At first, the tears were for all those men and women who have sacrificed their loved ones to the bitterness of war—to battles with neither principled death nor honorable victory, to horrors and pains without justification or absolution. Then I started wailing like I never had before, because I realized that no matter what we do, the killing will never stop. Rich and powerful countries will always find a way to wield power and force over those of us at the bottom of the food chain. Children will continue to die because of hunger and malnutrition and treatable diseases—causes that could be addressed with political will. Religious and societies and cultures will continue to exclude each other and try to justify acts that are ultimately uncalled for. All this while tiny circles of wealth go around the world in their yachts, eating the freshest, most exotic food and sipping the best wine. All this while teenaged brats prance around in their hot cars, flashing extensions of Daddy’s card and racking up luxury purchases that would already be enough to send an impoverished child (who did not choose to be born that way) to University. All this while coke fiends fill the party scene and crowd the already-overpopulated country with their meaningless, pitiful existence.

What is the meaning of all this?? I asked myself. You think your life is important—you think what you’re doing and the people you’re meeting are important—but what are you doing to stop the madness? What are you doing to feed or clothe one more person, to send one more child to school, to make sure that people don’t die meaningless deaths? What is your life really all about??

Silence.

I realized that what I’m doing now—whatever that is—still isn’t enough.

It was the most depressing thought in the world, at 3 A.M.

* * *

Then I realized that I don’t want to go “the small way” anymore. I do not want to “do my own little thing”, at my own pace and time, because the problems we’re facing now are way bigger than we imagine them to be. I do not want to be content with making “a small difference.” If I’m going to make something of my life, then I will find a way to make a big impact—to deal with real problems, to contribute real solutions, to work on systemic long-term solutions that will be felt even by my children and my grandchildren. To be honest, I don’t know yet what the avenues are or how I’ll find them, but I know that they’ll come to me. I just need to be honest with myself and acknowledge that I want to be out there, where it counts. I’m just so sick and tired of looking at the world with despair.

I want to feel hope again.

And if I can’t find it, then I’ll find a way to make it. I know there are many others out there like me who believe that it can be done.

Permission To Forgive Ourselves: Releasing Guilt

2008-04-07T04:19:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Learning to accept the things that we perceive as wrong can be a difficult task for many of us. Often we have been brought up to accept that it is normal to feel guilty about our actions and that by doing so we will make everything seem alright within ourselves. Even though we might feel that we have a reason to make up for the choices we have made, it is much more important for us to learn how to deal with them in a healthy and positive way, such as through forgiveness and understanding.

When we can look back at our past and really assess what has happened, we begin to realize that there are many dimensions to our actions. While feeling guilty might assuage our feelings at first, it is really only a short-term solution. It is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out. If we truly are able to gaze upon our lives through the lens of compassion, however, we will be able to see that there is much more to what we do and have done than we realize. Perhaps we were simply trying to protect ourselves or others and did the best we could at the time, or maybe we thought we had no other recourse and chose a solution in the heat of the moment. Once we can understand that dwelling in our negative feelings will only make us feel worse, we will come to recognize that it is really only through forgiving ourselves that we can transform our feelings and truly heal any resentment we have about our past.

Giving ourselves permission to feel at peace with our past actions is one of the most positive steps we can take toward living a life free from regrets, disappointments, and guilt. The more we are able to remind ourselves that the true path to a peaceful mind and heart is through acceptance of every part of our lives and actions, the more harmony and inner joy we will experience in all aspects of our lives.

Quote of the Day

2008-04-07T04:05:00.000+08:00

*Dedicated to my beloved*

"Dance only to the sound of percussion; repeat the process every day; know that, at a certain moment, your eyes will, quite naturally, close, and you will begin to see a light that comes from within, a light that answers your questions and develops your hidden powers."

~ Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

Quote of the Day

2008-04-04T07:27:00.000+08:00

"I had a dream, and it landed right here in my hand"

~ Robert R. Toth, Artist, The Realm of Art Gallery.

Unblocking The Ally: Habitual Anger

2008-04-04T07:11:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Sometimes when we feel anger, it is coming from a deep place that demands acknowledgment and expression. At these times, it is important that we find healthy ways to honor our anger, remembering how dangerous it is to repress it. However, anger can also become a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. Often this is because, for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing anger than we do other emotions, like sadness. It can also be that getting angry gives us the impression that we’ve done something about our problem. In these cases, our habitual anger is inhibiting both our ability to express our other emotions and to take action in our lives.

If it’s true that anger is functioning this way in your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice when you get angry. You might begin to see a pattern of some kind. For example, you could notice that it is always your first response or that it comes up a lot in one particular situation. If the pattern doesn’t become clear right away, you could try keeping a journal about when you get angry and see if you can find any underlying meaning. The good thing about keeping a journal is that you can explore your anger more deeply in it—from examining who in your family of origin expressed a lot of anger to how you feel when you encounter anger in others. This kind of awareness can be a formidable agent of transformation.

Anger can be a powerful ally, since it is filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the world. It is one of the most cathartic emotions, and it can also be a very effective cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring new energy and expansiveness to your emotional life.

Quote of the Day

2008-04-03T20:01:00.000+08:00

The Gift belongs to whoever chooses to accept it. It is enough to believe—and not be afraid to make mistakes.

~ Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I sat Down and Wept

Setting A Limit To Sit With Emotions: How Long

2008-04-03T08:01:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Our emotions color our lives with varying palettes. Sometimes we feel a strong emotion in reaction to something that has happened, but emotions also visit us seemingly out of the blue, flooding us unexpectedly with joy or grief or melancholy. Like the weather, they come and go, influencing our mental state with their particular vibration. Sometimes a difficult emotion hangs around longer than we would like, and we begin to wonder when it will release its hold on us. This is often true of grief stemming from loss, for example, or lingering anger over a past event.

Usually, if we allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully when they come up, they recede naturally, giving way to another and another. When an emotion haunts us, it is often because we are afraid of really feeling it. Emotions like despair and rage are powerful, and it is natural to want to hold them at bay. Certainly, we don’t want to let them take us over so that we say or do things we later regret. When we are facing this kind of situation, it can be helpful to ask the spirit, “How long do I need to sit with these emotions, how long do I need to feel these emotions before they can pass?” If you ask sincerely and wait, an answer will come. Setting a time limit on your engagement with that difficult emotion may be just the technique you need to face it fully.

When you have a sense of how much time you need to spend, set a timer. Sit down and make yourself available to the emotion that has been nagging you. All you have to do is feel it. Avoid getting attached to it or rejecting it. Simply let it ebb and flow within you. Emotions are by their nature cyclical, so you can trust that just as one reaches its apex it will pass. Each time you sit with its presence without either repressing or acting out, you will find that that difficult emotion was the catalyst for much needed emotional healing.

"Despedida poetry": Marie Sol (Star of the Sea and the Sky)

2008-04-02T10:07:00.000+08:00

Marie Sol

(Star of the Sea and the Sky)

A despedida poem for our dear friend, Marie Sol Delantar-Gonzalvo

14 March 2008

When the Universe dreamed you up

It thought of bright skies and blue waters

Of the highest hopes and the deepest passions

Of the best of the sea and the sky

It was no wonder, then

That your childhood saw you

Drawn to the ocean waves

Gazing at the blazing heavens

And dreaming of infinite possibilities

Star of the sea

Queen of the sky

You are a wonderful conglomeration of contradictions

A beautiful pearl of a paradox—

A little girl’s fervent hope

Residing in a woman’s earnest heart

The Earth could not be more blessed

To have you in her womb

The Sun could think of nothing less

Than to share his light

Through your life

* * *

There was a reason why

Your name chose you—

Anyone else would have been

An injustice

To the gifts of the world

Nobody else could radiate

And fill all corners of the globe

With your energy

Your love

Your dedication

Your joy

Nobody else will compare

And as you go on your way

To bigger dreams

And distant lands

We will remember

Why we were once gifted

By the Sea and the Sky

It is to fill lives

With hope eternal

And wisdom unbounded

To open dreams

With unfolding possibilities

And infinite reach

To serve

With the deepest love

And stand

With the highest ideals

Thank you, dear Sol

For the gift of You

May the Universe’s light

Shine upon you

And make all your dreams come true

Quote of the Day

2008-04-02T06:46:00.000+08:00

The notion of looking on at life has always been hateful to me.

What am I if I am not a participant? In order to be, I must participate.

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Relating To The Negative: The Danger Of Repression

2008-04-02T06:11:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

For the last several years, there has been a lot of focus on the power of positive thinking. Many people have come to misinterpret this wisdom to mean that it is not okay to have a bad mood or a negative thought or feeling. This can lend a kind of superficiality to their relationship with life and relationships with other people. It can also lead them to feel that if a negative thought or feeling comes up, in themselves or someone else, they must immediately block it out. When they do this, they are engaging in the act of repressing a part of themselves that needs to seen, heard, and processed.

When we repress parts of ourselves, they don’t go away so much as they get buried deep within us, and they often come out when we least expect it. On the other hand, if we allow ourselves to be fully human, honoring all the thoughts, feelings, and moods that pass through us on a given day, we create a more conscious relationship with ourselves. Instead of blocking out thoughts and feelings that we label as negative, we can simply observe them and then let them go. They only get stuck when we react to them negatively, pushing them down and out of sight where they get lodged in our unconscious minds. A healthier solution might be to develop a practice of following any negative thought we may have with a positive thought. This works well because positive thoughts are many times more powerful than negative thoughts.

Rather than setting our minds up in such a way that we become fearful of the contents of our own consciousness, blocking out anything that is less than 100 percent positive, we might resolve to develop a friendlier attitude toward ourselves, trusting in our inherent goodness. When we recognize our true inner worth, a few dark clouds passing through our minds will not intimidate us. We will see them for what they are—small, dark figures passing through an expansive sky of well-being and truth.

Quote of the Day (2)

2008-03-30T14:45:00.000+08:00

*Sometimes, some quotes can't wait until tomorrow! Dedicated to Anna R., Carissa V., Jennee R., and Carren J.* ~ N

"Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."

~ Gilda Radner

* * * * *

About Gilda Radner

The endearingly goofy American comedian Gilda Radner was the first actor cast on "Saturday Night Live" and stayed with the show for six years, creating such beloved characters as Baba Wawa, Emily Litella, and Rosanne Rosannadanna. She was born in Detroit in 1946. After she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in the late 1980's, she wrote "It's Always Something," a book about her experiences. Her widower, Gene Wilder, founded the "Gilda's Club" national support group after her death in 1989.

Quote of the Day

2008-03-30T07:31:00.000+08:00

"Knowledge is learning something every day,
Wisdom is letting go of something every day."

~ Zen proverb

Harmonizing with the Universe: The Benefits of Singing

2008-03-30T07:20:00.000+08:00

*I am one of those people who randomly breaks out into song while working, while washing the dishes, while doing anything. Both my mom and Paul think it's amusing--if not funny. Now, I have a perfectly good excuse for it!* ~ N

Taken from The Daily Om

Singing is an act of vibration. It takes music from the realm of the unformed—whether that is in your mind or from that magical space of inspiration—and moves it from within to without. From the first breath singing moves the energy in a circular way inside your body. As the breath fills your lungs, it brushes against the second and third charkas—the centers of creation and honoring self and others. Instead of merely exhaling, pushing the air past the fourth and fifth chakras where heart charka and the center of will and intention reside, singing engages both the heart and mind. Sound vibrations from vocal chords resonate in the sinus cavities, filling the head with motion and sound while the brain lights up with the processing of the mathematics of music. This marriage of activities brings the third eye into play and opens the door for inspiration from the crown chakra before sending the sound out into the world.

Once the vibration begins, it is sustained with each note, moving throughout your body and the space around you. This can help you to harmonize your frequency with the world and with the divine. The use of the voice can bring about catharsis, a cleansing from the expression of emotion, which is why we feel better after singing certain types of songs. All of this occurs even if we are not conscious of what we are singing, but when we really connect with an intention, the power of the voice and music together are powerful tools in creation.

Even if you are not a singer by nature or talent, you are not left out. If you have a voice, it is your birthright to celebrate life with song. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel you have a nice voice. Chanting or humming, singing solo or with others, your voice is yours to enjoy. Whether you sing along to the radio or use vocalization as part of your meditation time, singing and harmonizing are healing activities that bring your body’s vibrations into alignment with the universe.

The Beauty of Confusion [By Mark Bryan (The Artist’s Way at Work)]

2008-03-29T16:52:00.000+08:00

*Something nice that I got in my inbox this morning* ~ N

Mathematicians sometimes speak of a proof as beautiful or elegant. Many solutions to everyday problems feel the same way when they first reveal themselves. But prior to most new solutions comes a period of confusion.

For me, confusion, "not knowing," is uncomfortable. I wish I could avoid it.

Then I remember the 4 room apartment - a model of change by Claus Janssen:

1. Contentment. No one changes in contentment, why should they?

2. Denial. I can't change in Denial. I am not aware that I need to change!

3. Confusion. Ahh, here is where people change.

4. Renewal. What a great feeling. Energy returns. Good news.

So, I need to remind myself in times of confusion that it is okay to "not know." Confusion makes me stop and think, reconsider my options. Not a bad thing usually.

So, why do I judge myself so negatively when I get confused? Why do I feel I have to "know" all the answers already? Is it because confusion causes anxiety and anxiety is uncomfortable? Well, yeah. So why is that good?

Because it forces me into action: Confused and anxious I have to seek relief. I am forced to stop flying solo, to reach out and ask for help, to talk to others, to check reality with a colleague, to exercise until I can breathe easy again.

Perhaps I am wired backwards but I usually have to get into action when I am anxious as opposed to waiting until I can figure it all out. I used to joke that I am like Robert Redford's character, the Sundance Kid - "I'm better when I move."

By making me anxious and forcing me into motion, confusion pushes me toward clarity - and that is a beautiful thing.

I hope you are having a wonderful spring. ~ Mark

* * *

The Artist's Way at Work and Mark Bryan
Mark is co-founder of The Artist's Way workshops and provides coaching and consulting on creativity and innovation as well as general career and family issues. For more information please visit www.markbryan.com or call Ginny at 626-535-0141.

It’s A Tuesday Afternoon and While Most of You Are at Work...

2008-03-26T07:33:00.000+08:00

... I am enjoying my little sliver of heaven. No, I’m not talking about a sinfully scrumptious piece of cake, or a naughty little outfit that I got on sale, or a soothing massage at a spa.

I am working, too. Only, I’m at one of my favorite work spots (the conference area in Starbucks Leviste), and trying out my first-ever glass of caramel macchiato while taking mini-bites of multi-grain bagel with tomato, mozzarella, and basil. It’s 3PM, and I just came from Fully Booked at Bonifacio High Street, where I had to return some books that I pulled out for MEGA’s April issue. And, of course, I couldn’t go home to the Mother Ship without taking something back so I did a bit of book shopping and finally got my own copy of Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, Paulo Coelho’s The Witch of Portobello, and Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink. Long-overdue purchases—for the sake of intellectual stimulation, “research,” and “community support.”

And Rogue! Oh my goodness, Rogue. If it were possible to fall in love with a magazine at first mention (not even at first sight), that would be my relationship with Rogue. I knew the instant I heard about it that I had to get a copy—and that, someday, I have to write for it. (And my editors at the top magazine publishing houses will kill me for saying this.)

The magazine is obviously not a lad mag—and it’s not gentlemanly GQ, either. It’s intelligent and polished but somehow rough on the edges. It’s artful and soulful but not cheesy and romantic. It’s seductive but not “sexy.” Hmmmm... Now that I think about it, Rogue is what Paul was on our “magical” Havana date—the night I knew that I was looking at forever. Hahaha—‘nuff said.

The March issue is a particularly good buy, I think. Its take-two on Philippine cinema is somewhat educational—at least for non-film buffs such as myself—and its features are as intelligent as they are candid. (I even found myself reading Lourd de Veyra’s piece on Ace Vergel, as well as his wonderfully written exposition on thespian Ronnie Lazaro.) My favorite piece is the collaboration of photographer Frankie Callaghan and writer Luis Katigbak, in which soulful—sometimes stark—photographs come alive and inspire a closer look or a thoughtful pause, and in which words arouse haunting questions and distant memories.

(Hmmm... The Rogue man and the MEGA woman would go well together, methinks.)

But more than my impromptu shopping trip and my serenely solitary moments today, what stands out are the conversations I had with three beautiful and empowered women, all of whom I had to interview this morning for MEGA’s June cover stories. In conversing with actress and model Teresa Herrera, I caught a glimpse of what real beauty is all about—and why women everywhere need to be shown that they are beautiful inside and out. As someone who grew up with serious self-esteem and self-image issues, I appreciated her candor as we talked about her “journey” towards wholeness and balance. More on that in MEGA in June!

And now, I’m working to kill time since my Team RP meeting doesn’t start until 6PM. Again, it’s been one of those days when art, business, and politics merged in an effortless stream of activities—when I found a synthesis of myself in all the little things I did, bought, and digested. I’m thinking: If everyone can find something to do that is as authentic and as “full of themselves” as today has been for me, then—perhaps—people would be working less and living more.

Written: 25 March 2008

Accepting Yourself: A Dynamic Choice-Maker

2008-03-26T05:08:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person. There are choices and actions that lead us in different directions, and it is through those choices and actions that we create our realities. Sometimes we choose or do something that takes us in the opposite direction of the reality we want to create for ourselves. When we do this, we feel bad—uneasy, unhappy, unsure. We might go so far as to label ourselves “bad” when a situation like this arises. Instead of labeling ourselves, though, we could simply acknowledge that we made a choice that lead us down a particular path, and then let it go, forgiving ourselves and preparing for our next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways that support our best intentions.

Many of us experienced childhoods in which the words good and bad were used as weapons to control us—you were good if you did what you were told and bad if you didn’t. This kind of discipline undermines a person’s ability to find their own moral center and to trust and be guided by their own inner self. If you were raised this way, you may find yourself feeling shockwaves of badness when you do something you were taught was wrong, even if now you don’t agree that it’s bad. Conversely, you may feel good when you do what you learned was right. Notice how this puts you in something of a straitjacket. An important part of our spiritual unfolding requires that we grow beyond what we learned and take responsibility for our own liberation in our own terms.

You are a human being with every right to be here, learning and exploring. To label yourself good or bad is to think too small. What you are is a decision-maker and every moment provides you the opportunity to move in the direction of your higher self or in the direction of stagnation or degradation. In the end, only you know the difference. If you find yourself going into self-judgment, try to stop yourself as soon as you can and come back to center. Know that you are not good or bad, you are simply you.

Quote of the Day

2008-03-24T12:24:00.000+08:00

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

~ Sir Winston Churchill

A Full Embrace Excluding Nothing: Finding Peace Within

2008-03-24T10:00:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Most people agree that a more peaceful world would be an ideal situation for all living creatures. However, we often seem stumped as to how to bring this ideal situation into being. If we are to have true peace in this world, each one of us must find it in ourselves first. If we don’t like ourselves, for example, we probably won’t like those around us. If we are in a constant state of inner conflict, then we will probably manifest conflict in the world. If we have fighting within our families, there can be no peace in the world. We must shine the light of inquiry on our internal struggles, because this is the only place we can really create change.

When we initiate the process of looking inside ourselves for the meaning of peace, we will begin to understand why it has always been so difficult to come by. This in itself will enable us to be compassionate toward the many people in the world who find themselves caught up in conflicts both personal and universal. We may have an experience of peace that we can call up in ourselves to remind us of what we want to create, but if we are human we will also feel the pull in the opposite direction—the desire to defend ourselves, to keep what we feel belongs to us, to protect our loved ones and our cherished ideals, and the anger we feel when threatened. This awareness is important because we cannot truly know peace until we understand the many tendencies and passions that threaten our ability to find it. Peace necessarily includes, even as it transcends, all of our primal energy, much of which has been expressed in ways that contradict peace.

Being at peace with ourselves is not about denying or rejecting any part of ourselves. On the contrary, in order to be at peace we must be willing and able to hold ourselves, in all our complexity, in a full embrace that excludes nothing. This is perhaps the most difficult part for many of us, because we want so much to disown the negative aspects of our humanity. Ironically, though, true peace begins with a willingness to take responsibility for our humanity so that we might ultimately transform it in the light of our love.

Relationships and the virtual world

2008-03-23T04:06:00.000+08:00

I stumbled upon Gaia.com while reading through my online buddy Albert Klamt's posts. He, in turn, had stumbled upon my post here about the WhyNot? Forum, and we began exchanging posts and emails on similar topics.

As I further explored Gaia, I realized that a lot of the people there thought and wrote the way I did! There were a lot of posts about meditation and "consciousness" and "changing the world." Each person there believed that, in his or her own way, they could really make a difference. Moreover, "awareness", "consciousness", "higher spirituality," and "Oneness" for them were more than mere concepts; they were integral parts of living. I loved it!

So I transferred Little Rich Girl, my "best-of" blog, there, and began reposting some of my favorites from my blog Soul Work. Almost quite instantly, I received comments from readers who soon became part of my network. There was one very interesting comment I received from a man named Michael, about my blog post "Crossing the Line" . It goes like this:

--

Hi, Nina. Your post reminded me of one of Steve Pavlina's blog posts about Soulful Relationships. Pavlina says:

So what is the mindset that makes it so much easier to relate to people? Here it is in a nutshell:

Everyone you meet in your life - even total strangers - is already intimately connected to you. The idea that we are all separate and distinct beings is nothing but an illusion. We are all parts of a larger whole, like individual cells in a body.

Moreover, everyone and everything you see out there in your world are reflections of you. Just as the cells in an organism carry the same DNA, other people are walking around with some part of you inside them. When you look at other people, you're really looking at yourself. When you notice other people, it's just like your eyes observing your hands. We're all parts of the same whole.

Here are some facets of this interconnected model of relationships:

- Oneness - Other people are not separate and distinct from you. In fact, they are you.

- Connectedness - You don't have to “build” relationships with others because you're already connected. You need only tune into the pre-existing connection that's already there.

- No risk - Little or no courage is required to approach strangers. You're never actually building new connections from scratch. You're just recognizing what's already there.

- Equality - You can feel just as close to total strangers as you do to your friends.

- Significance - All relationships are significant; none are irrelevant. Even the strangers you pass on the street are important parts of you.

- Love without attachment - Letting go of harmful relationships is easier because you're still unconditionally connected to everyone else. As you release old relationships that no longer serve you, you'll attract new ones that are compatible with you.

--

I read that particular blog entry and Steve Pavlina related some encounters that mirrored some of my most very recent encounters! As I wrote back to him, it's as if "Strangers are like old friends I haven't seen in a long time; friends are like soul-sisters or soul-brothers. I say 'recognize' because it's become more often now when I meet someone with whom I feel an instant affinity, as if we had already met before. Barriers are easily broken and bridges easily established."

And that's what I felt when I joined this online community. It was as if I could be there and express myself without fear of judgement or reproach. And there are so many interesting blog posts and articles to read and learn from. Not that I have too much time to read anyway, but it's good to know that, somewhere out there in the virtual universe, people are getting together and creating a new "virtual consciouness" that could ultimately change the way things are being done offline, in "the real world."

Why can't "the real world" function the way these virtual communities do, I wonder? There is so much we can learn from them.

Quote of the Day

2008-03-22T06:51:00.000+08:00

'How can we purify the world?' asked a disciple.

Ibn al-Husayn replied:

'There was once a sheik in Damascus called Abu Musa al-Qumasi. Everyone respected him because of his wisdom, but no one knew for certain that he was a good man.

One evening, the house where the sheik and his wife lived collapsed, apparently because of some fault in the construction. The neighbours began desperately digging amongst the rubble. At one point, they managed to find the sheik's wife.

She said: "Don't bother about me. Save my husband first, he was sitting more or less over there."

The neighbours shifted the rubble in the place she had indicated and found the sheik. He said: "Don't worry about me. Save my wife first, she was lying more or less over there."

When people act as that couple did, they are purifying the whole world.

~ Excerpted from Paulo Coelho's Warrior of the Light

Making Time For Reflection: Going On Retreat

2008-03-22T06:11:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Giving ourselves time to reflect and heal can be a powerful way to process the things that are happening in our lives, and one of the best approaches to do this is by going on a retreat. Going on a retreat means that we have set the intention to heal and learn more about our spirit, and doing this is a decision that we make for ourselves.

Since everyone sees and experiences the world differently, it is important to choose a type of retreat that works best for us. Even though a friend or loved one may recommend something, we have to trust our intuition and select a path that really connects with what our soul needs most at the time. The most essential thing is to be willing to respect our unique stage of development and to be patient with ourselves since any thoughts or issues that arise are simply part of the process of healing. Just remembering that a retreat is an intense period of time where serious soul searching takes place can help us allow whatever may happen to us to fully unfold. Going on retreat may sound like a vacation, but most retreat experiences ask you to look deep inside of yourself, and sometimes this can be uncomfortable or stir the pot of our soul.

Putting our trust in the retreat process will make space for the necessary work we have to do, making it easier for our hearts and minds to explore wholly the innermost reaches of our soul. By paying attention to these messages, we pave the way for greater healing and transformation, since spending time in contemplation at a retreat will give us the gift of insight and understanding that we can use in all aspects of our daily lives.

Quarterly Life Review (part 2 of 2): Our Ideals Can Feed Us, After All

2008-03-20T19:43:00.000+08:00

One of the most frequently-heard lines by young idealists such as myself is that “Your ideals can’t feed you.” We are taught that ideals are great when you are young and in school, but not when you are paying for bills, paying your taxes, and trying to climb up the corporate ladder or raise a family. No, at that stage in your life you don’t need ideals—you need money. Somehow, our society has taught us that if we are idealistic, then will be cursed with poverty.

If that were the case, then the idealistic, freelance “artist” that I am should be starving and homeless (and totally emaciated) by now.

However, as the Universe would have it, this quarter has been my busiest and my most liquid period in quite a while. (Certainly compared to the same period last year!) I have been contracted for projects that are not only profitable but also very much in line with my interests; I have been able to devote enough time, money, and energy to my socio-civic involvements (and work from cafés as often as I need to); and I’ve been able to afford my little luxuries as well. Oh, and there were the home and car repairs that Paul and I had to take care of as well. And the big party we had last month.

So far, the checks have been coming in steady streams for me, and the bookings have been coming in non-stop for Paul. (There are days when he has back-to-back-TO-BACK events—and, as of this writing, he has four out-of-town performances over the next four weeks!) All these when our ideals have been at their most intense, when our “for-the-love” involvements have been at an all-time high. All these when we should have been impoverished for banking on our ideals.

* * *

Now I totally, fully understand what it means to “Do what you love and the money will follow.” For both Paul and I, what we’re doing now is what we’d we doing anyway even if nobody paid us. I will continue to write, connect people, share ideas, and organize groups. He will continue to create music, experiment on new forms of expression, and raise the bar of his artmaking. Both of us will continue to stay tuned to the news, engage in political discussions, and take a stand when and where it is relevant and necessary.

Fortunately for us, other people seem to be seeing the value that our passion and our ideals bring into our work. Somehow, they see that this “value added” is worth paying for; it’s as if WE ourselves are becoming premium brand names. And, to a very large extent, that IS true—each of us is our own brand. It’s just a question of what our respective brands stand for and how others perceive and “valuate” our personal brands.

* * *

This reminds me of a new venture I’m working on with a friend based in London. She is an environmental scientist with an expertise in sustainable development, and our venture involves teaching corporations how to adapt to global standards in CSR (corporate social responsibility) practice and reporting. In the past few years, CSR has become all the rage in corporate boardrooms, and it’s easy to see why: people need to see what values, principles, and ideals you stand for before they feel comfortable enough to do business with you.

Working on this project has made me realize that, if I were a company, I’d probably have “CSR” written all over me. My freelance writing practice really stemmed from articles and blog entries that I used to write for free anyway. My organizational skills have been honed by years of involvement with volunteer groups. My political involvements began during my student council days in college, and they never really left. Everything that I’m doing now is anchored on something that I had begun doing just because I wanted to. And, somehow, they have all led to fruitful professional undertakings.

Even when I didn’t have money in mind, (above-board, untainted) money seemed to find me. I think it’s a pretty good way to live.

So the next time anyone comes up to me for career advice, I’d tell them: “Go ahead and do what you do best—what you’d do anyway even without getting paid. You’d be surprised how much people would be willing to pay you for that.”

And if you are one of those people who somehow believed enough in me to pay for what I’d do for free anyway, I thank the Universe for you.

Quote of the Day

2008-03-20T18:26:00.000+08:00

May kaibhan ang ningning sa liwanag. Alin ang nagpapakilala ng mas tunay?

Ang ningning ay nakasisilaw at nakasisira sa paningin. Ang liwanag ay kinakailangan ng mata, upang mapawari ang buong katunayan ng mga bagay-bagay. Ang bubog kung tinatamaan ng nag-aapuy na sikat ng araw ay nagniningning; ngunit sumusugat sa kamay ng nagaganyak na dumadampot. Ang ningning ay maraya. Ang hanapin ay liwanag, tayo'y huwag mabighani sa ningning.

~ Emilio Jacinto

Taken from AGIMAT NI APO by Fr. Ted Gonzales, SJ (p.33)

Your Wellspring Of Energy: A Stress-Free Home

2008-03-20T18:17:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Sometimes our lives are so busy that we treat our homes as if they were impersonal places that we merely pass through. But we can make certain that our homes truly feel like our sanctuaries by taking the time to tend to them like gardens, which need care in order to offer us the beauty of their blooms. When we take the time to treat our homes like beloved treasures, we can shift their energy from being merely places to being wellsprings for the replenishment of our energy.

Consider that homes are the outer reflections of those who live within. If we feel that the current appearance clashes with how we’d like to see ourselves, it can keep us from fully allowing our light to shine. Updating our homes to reflect our inner landscape need not involve massive redecorating or a large outlay of money. Small things can make a big difference, like simply moving items so that we constantly gaze upon the things we love the most, liberating the treasures we’ve hidden in our closets, using our best dishes and making small repairs. Organizing and cleaning is a no-cost way to remove chaos from our homes and introduce more calm. Lovingly rejuvenating our personal space can become a creative project that increases the flow of good throughout all aspects of our lives and increases our feeling of connection. We can give old things new life by donating them to charity, opening space for newness to enter. Removing stress from our homes can be as simple as putting o! ur bills into pretty boxes and choosing a specific time to deal with them, or removing clutter so that we and our energy can move freely throughout our space.

Simplifying our space lets our imagination and energy roam free. We can choose to prioritize our homes, making them the true heart of our family’s activities. Then we are free to focus on what really matters—time to ourselves, to share with loved ones, and to replenish our energy so that we have more to share with each other and with the world.

A Quarterly “Life Review” (Part 1 of 2)

2008-03-19T15:49:00.000+08:00

The very first time I can remember conducting a “strategic life review” was seven years ago, around March or April 2001. It was the Holy Week then, and I was by myself at what was then Powerbooks Arnaiz, hiding behind some shelves in the Religion section. I was hunched over The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho) and The Artist’s Way (Julia Cameron)—hurriedly taking notes on a black, lined paper using metallic-colored gel pens, hoping I wouldn’t get caught. It was my first encounter with those life-changing books, and the first time I can remember REALLY taking a good look at my life as it was.

At 21 then, it was probably the first time in my young adult life that I had felt very confused and very much “out of sync.” Neither my job nor my relationship then provided any fulfillment, and I was still hanging on to some old strings that should no longer have been relevant. I was not happy with my life—I was not happy with my self—and all around me were questions, questions, questions.

In spite of the angst that that period brought about, the exercise of reading good books, jotting down notes, and letting the questions flow proved to be monumental for me—as it led me on a journey toward self-awareness, self-discovery, passion, authenticity, and—now—some semblance of serenity.

So I am not surprised that today, seven years later—also during the Holy Week—I find myself needing to go partly back and take another look at my life. Let’s call it a “quarterly life review,” as much of what I am enjoying now is a direct result of actions, decisions, and circumstances that arose only in January.

* * *

When the year began, I was only beginning to recover from a traumatic Christmas. A series of misunderstandings, assumptions, and “implosions” nearly tore me and my beloved apart, and it took a very conscious series of decisions for us to get our relationship back on track. We vowed that 2008 was going to be “our year”—individually and as a couple—and that it was going to be the period for redefining our lives. I also made some very crucial career decisions in January, and those allowed me to look at myself and my work with renewed pride and confidence. I told myself that nobody was going to make me feel bad or inadequate—especially when it came to my work—ever again.

February was a crazy month, and if I were to create a timeline of this month alone it would seem like I packed several months’ worth of activity in time to celebrate the leap year. February 2 saw Paul and I having our first-ever major birthday bash—it was filled with music from start to finish, and attended by over a hundred of our dearest friends. (Rehearsal for wedding reception preparations? Maybe.) By the 5^th politics had started overtaking our lives—this was the night of the leadership change in the Lower House (which we watched on live TV ‘till way past midnight)—and by the 8^th we literally saw history unfold as we caught the live, breaking-news coverage of the Lozada exposé. It was also the night when I wrote the “Concerned Citizen’s 10-point Reform Agenda”, a letter that catapulted me into the world of real-world politics. On February 16 I joined a discussion among young Filipinos, which soon morphed into what is now Team RP, and by the 25^th Team RP was holding its first major event ever—a Concert for Truth, Accountability, and Reform that gained massive media coverage. (Friends actually messaged to say that they saw me on TV!) It was also the day when Heaven gave me another angel-guide when my dear friend, Jay Tan, passed away and reminded me of how short life is, indeed.

March has been an equally fast-paced month. We’re not even at the end yet, and—quite wonderfully—I’m already up to my eyebrows in projects that I really enjoy (with people that I respect and enjoy working with), and I once again find myself in a leadership position that reaffirms and reinvigorates my love for the political scene. I really don’t know why, but... throw me in a fashion show and I’ll still feel awkward; throw me in a political gathering and I’ll feel very much at home and in my element. So for the first time in a very long time, I feel that I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be. Here, I am not a mere observer, I am not just a chronicler; I am an active participant and a key player, and my opinions matter. (And the fact that I still get to enjoy the arts, culture, and lifestyle scenes is a heady bonus for me!)

* * *

A few weeks ago, I declared on Facebook that I was “working towards equilibrium.” Now, I feel that I am steadily getting there. Of all the realizations to which this quarter has led me, perhaps the most important is that I need a balance of business, art, and politics in my life. I am not just a writer; I am a creative social entrepreneur. I am not just a lifestyle journalist; I am an arts-and-culture lover. I am not just a former student leader; I am a young Filipino political player (not a “politician”—there’s a big difference). Take any of these elements away and I will feel very wobbly and very much misaligned. But give me the space to do and be all of these things and I will bloom like a seed planted in the ideal environment.

My friend Carissa Villacorta gave me a wonderful book for Christmas/my birthday. Entitled Live What You Love: Notes from an Unusual Life, it was written by Bob and Melinda Blanchard, a couple who defined their family life not based on the usual conventions but on what they felt was important to them. It reminded me very much of the life that Paul and I had begun building together. Here is an excerpt from the Introduction:

“What happens if life falls outside the expected lines and inside others that are self-defined? Our experiences tell us that living this way is as wonderful as it is odd. We happen to believe that life really is about choices, and we love what happens when interesting ones get paired together...

“Truly living this way has taken courage, faith, and more than an occasional dose of old-fashioned stubbornness. We tend not to give up. We try not to go with the usual choices. Even so, it has not always been easy to ‘stay true’ to our dreams and passions...

“After reflecting on all these moments, we realized that we had never said ‘no’ to one of our dreams. Together, we had always examined where we were in life and what we needed to continue on the path that was right for us. We balanced our dreams with practicalities, but never gave up on them. We were not afraid to risk it all and make huge mistakes and start over again. We surrounded ourselves with people we love in places that nurture our souls. We held hands and jumped into the water together. We made our dream come true by living what we love every single day.”

Acknowledging History: Permission From The Land

2008-03-14T06:29:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

When we acknowledge that every thing on our planet has its own energy and spirit, we have the opportunity to begin acting from that knowledge. Rather than thinking of rocks and fallen leaves as inanimate objects, we can remember that these items carry the energy of their past and their surroundings into the present moment before becoming something else. Just as we are molecules in motion, so are all things in the material world. Working in harmony with the universe means acknowledging that we are the same as the land and the stars, that we are all connected, and that we are all in a state of becoming.

It may seem obvious for us to behave with respect and ask permission of an overarching spirit before we enter a sacred place, or set foot upon some place with a history that makes us deeply aware of its past. But we can extend that same respect to any area of land. Whether we are merely considering stepping on it for recreation, or we have plans for landscaping, building, or moving it into an existing structure, we can show our respect for all the spirits that have come before us by connecting to the underlying energy. Once we have done that, we can take a moment to ask permission before we move in, remodel, or build in that space.

Beneath the surface of even the smallest plot of land lie years and years of history. Each speck of dust, grain of sand, and clod of earth has history that dates from the beginning of time before it became one of the elements that make up our planet. By thinking before we attempt to claim ownership over the land, we really acknowledge that we can never really own it. Instead we can work with it to create something new in that space. When we connect to all the energies that make up the land around us, we honor them and connect to all who have come before us, and we can be guided by their voices and their ancient wisdom.

Team RP Petition for a Freedom of Access to Information Law

2008-03-13T07:33:00.000+08:00

Link

Some of you who will get this may already know what we at Team RP have been doing. Some of you may be reading a politically charged message from me for the first time. I'm wearing my beliefs on my sleeve, and very proud to do so.

Many of you may be thinking, "Okay, Team RP. You say you're working for 'truth, accountability, and reform'. What now? What concrete steps can you REALLY take?" Here's one: to push for a law that gives us THE RIGHT TO INFORMATION. This right is enshrined in the Constitution, but because there are no enabling laws, there is no teeth--and many excuses not to comply.

By signing this petition, you will be helping us achieve our goal of AT LEAST 10,000 SIGNATURES that we will bring to legislators as a "pressure point." Your signature, together with many others, can signal to media that THIS IS AN ISSUE WORTH TALKING ABOUT. When media hounds our government officials for their take on this issue, THEN THE BALL CAN START ROLLING. People can start taking stands, a comprehensive bill can be drafted. ALL WITH THE HELP OF YOUR SIGNATURE.

Thank you in advance for your support. Please pass this on to friends so that they, too, will know how their ONE SIGNATURE can help change the course of things in this country.

--
Niña Terol
Vice Chairperson for Internal Affairs
TEAM RP

Quote of the Day

2008-03-12T05:32:00.000+08:00

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly."

~ Richard Bach

Nothing Big Required: You Are Enough

2008-03-12T05:31:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Most of us have the feeling that we are here to accomplish something big in our lives, and if we haven’t done something that fits the bill we may feel as if we are waiting. We may feel incomplete, or empty, as if our lives don’t yet make sense to us, because they don’t line up with our idea of major accomplishment. In some cases, this may be because we really are meant to do something that we haven’t yet done. But in most cases, we can let ourselves off the hook with the realization that just being here, being ourselves, is enough.

As we live our lives in this world, we share our energy and our spirit with the people around us in numerous ways. Our influence touches their lives and, through them, touches the lives of many more people. When we strive to live our lives to the fullest and to become our true selves, we are doing something big on an inner level, and that is more than enough to make sense of our being here on this planet at this time. There is no need to hold ourselves to an old idea in the back of our minds that we need to make headlines or single-handedly save the world in order to validate our existence.

We can each look within our hearts to discover what is true for us, what gives our lives meaning, and what excites us. We can release ourselves from any pressure to perform that comes from outside of our inner sense of purpose. Staying in tune with our own values and living our lives in tune with our own vision is all we need in order to fulfill our time here. Our lives are a process of becoming so that we cannot help but cocreate; being who we are, responding to each moment as it comes, we can trust that this is enough.

Walking With Awareness: Mindful Walking

2008-03-09T05:46:00.000+08:00

Every year, either on my birthday or Holy Week--or both--I take a slow, leisurely stroll around the Ateneo grounds. It is an exercise that grounds me, slows me down, and helps un-knot the thoughts in my brain. It is, in every sense, meditation in action. This year, I intend to do "mindful walking" much more often. ~ N

---

Taken from The Daily Om

Many of us take the benefits of walking for granted. Each day we limit the steps we take by driving or sitting for long periods of time. But walking even a few blocks a day has unlimited benefits, not only for our health but for our spirit. As we walk, we connect with the earth.

Even when walking on concrete the earth is still beneath us, supporting us. Walking lets our body remember simpler times when life was less complicated. This helps us slow down to the speed of our body and take the time to integrate the natural flow of life into our cellular tissue. Instead of running from place to place or thinking about how much more we can fit into our day, walking allows us to exist in the moment.

Each step we take can lead us to becoming more mindful of ourselves and our feelings. Walking slows us down enough not only to pay attention to where we are in our body but also to our breath. Taking time to simply notice our breath while we walk, through the length of our inhales and exhales, and becoming attuned to the way in which we breathe is taking a step toward mindfulness. When we become more mindful, we gradually increase our awareness of the environment around us and start to recognize that the normal flow of our thoughts and feelings are not always related to where we are in the present moment. Gradually we realize that the connection we have with the earth and the ground beneath our feet is all that is. By walking and practicing breathing mindfully, we gain a sense of calm and tranquility. The problems and troubles of the day slowly fade away because we are in the "now."

The simplicity and ease of a walking practice allows us to create time, space, and an awareness of our surroundings and of the wonders that lie within. Taking a few moments to walk each day and become more aware of our breath will open the door for the beauty of the world around us to come in.

Intuitive Guidance From Within: Using Yourself As A Pendulum

2008-03-06T19:31:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Learning to trust our intuition is something that can connect us with our higher selves. Sometimes it might not seem easy to do this. Our thoughts and minds often get in the way. But by accessing our innermost self, we will find that the information we receive is usually what we truly need at that moment. One of the techniques that allows us to really get in touch with our deepest font of wisdom is using our body as a pendulum. The simple act of letting our physical being lead us in a certain direction can offer us extremely deep insights and help us find the answers we seek.

Many of us may have tried using a pendulum or crystal on a chain as a dousing tool to acquire the information we need to make decisions or even find lost objects. Using our bodies puts us much more closely in tune with our being. The process of using your body as a pendulum is to ask your higher self a question and wait for your body to respond in either a forward-tilting or backward-tilting motion. The first step is to really understand how our higher self communicates with us by centering our bodies, asking ourselves the directions for "yes" and "no," and noting which way our body moves. For a lot of people a forward motion is "yes," and your body tilting backward is a "no" answer. It is easier to start with simple questions at first to understand how our higher self communicates with us. As we become more used to the messages we receive and how we process them, we can start asking for more specific things such as what dosage of herbs to take or which foods would best nourish our bodies. Using this technique in the grocery store or when shopping for vitamins and remedies can be extremely helpful.

Since we are always present in our bodies, understanding how we can use our bodies as pendulums is a tool we can use at any given moment in our lives. Letting our bodies tell us what is happening inside of us will in turn help to guide us through not just daily but also major life decisions. The more we allow our bodies to open up and share with us the connection it has with our deeper self, the better able we will be to truly access the knowledge we hold so deeply within.

Quote of the Day

2008-03-05T04:24:00.000+08:00

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."

~ Virginia Satir

Living For Ourselves: Trying To Please Others

2008-03-05T04:23:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Most of us come to a point in our lives when we question why we are doing what we are doing, and many of us come to realize that we may be living our lives in an effort to make our parents happy. This realization can dawn when we are in our 20s, our 40s, or even later, depending upon how tight a hold our family of origin has on our psyche. We may feel shocked or depressed by this information, but we can trust that it is coming to us at this time because we are ready to find out what it would mean to live our lives for ourselves, following the call of our own soul, and refusing any longer to be beholden to someone else’s expectations.

One of the most common reasons we are so tied into making our parents, or others, happy, is that we were not properly mirrored when we were children. We were not honored as individuals in our own right, with a will and purpose of our own, to be determined by our own unfolding. As a result, we learned to look outside of ourselves for approval, support, and direction rather than look within. The good news is that the part of us that was not adequately nurtured is still there, inside us, like a seed that has not yet received the sunlight and moisture it needs to open and to allow its inner contents to unfurl. It is never too late to provide ourselves with what we need to awaken this inner being.

There are many ways to create a safe container for ourselves so that we can turn within and shine the light of awareness there. We may join a support group, go to therapy, or start a practice of journaling every day for half an hour. This experience of becoming is well worth the difficult work that may be required of us to get there. In whatever process we choose, we may feel worse before we feel better, but we will ultimately find out how to live our lives for ourselves and how to make ourselves happy.

Interconnected Experiences: Noticing Synchronicity

2008-03-03T05:07:00.000+08:00

The Daily Om is back on Soul Work!

Taken from The Daily Om

When events appear to fit together perfectly in our lives it may seem at first that they are random occurrences, things that are the result of coincidence. These synchronous happenings, though, are much more than that, for, if we look at them more closely they can show us that the universe is listening to us and gently communicating with us. Learning to pay attention to and link the things that occur on a daily basis can be a way for us to become more attuned to the fact that most everything happens in our lives for a reason – even when that reason is not clear right away.

When we realize that things often go more smoothly than we can ever imagine, it allows us to take the time to reflect on the patterns in our lives. Even events that might not at first seem to be related to each other are indicators that the universe is working with, not against, us. This idea of synchronicity, then, means that we have to trust there is more to our lives than what we experience on a physical level. We need to be willing to look more closely at the bigger picture, accepting and having confidence in the fact that there is more to our experiences than immediately meets the eye. Being open to synchronicity also means that we have to understand that our lives are filled with both positive and negative events. Once we can recognize that one event is neither more desirable nor better than the other – they all have an overall purpose in our lives -- then we are truly ready to listen to the messages the universe gives us.

While we may not be able to see everything in our lives as being synchronous, we can certainly use hindsight to be more aware of how the universe guides us. This sense of wonder at the mysteries of the universe and the interconnectedness present in our lives will help us see our overall ways of being and will in turn make it easier to work more consciously towards our spiritual evolution.

Finishing Last (an old post by Jay Tan on A Spoonful of Sugar)

2008-03-01T22:09:00.000+08:00

This was a post that Jay wrote in my blog shortly after his 28th birthday.

Jay, in my eyes--in the eyes of all your friends who knew and loved you--you will always be first. I love you, bro, and I'll miss you as sure as heaven.

A Spoonful of Sugar 2003, v.11
Finishing Last
By John Julian Tan III (contributing writer)
(Written: 15 September 2003)

This piece was written by one of my best friends, John Julian "Jay" Tan III, who, until recently, thought that he'd been living 28 years without having a single girlfriend. It turns out that he DID have a relationship at one time or another--only he didn't know that they were having a relationship at the time that it happened! (Now, isn't THAT interesting?!)

But, enough of that little side tidbit. What we have here is something that Jay wrote four years ago, and it talks about life and love... from the good guy's point of view.

* * * * *

Once upon a time, I believed that fairy tales did come true and that I would find a princess to call my very own someday and live happily ever after with. Unfortunately, life has played out more like a contrived horror novel and I am left cursing the Brothers Grimm for hammering such a crazy notion in my naive head. Lessons I’ve learned: Fairy tales don’t come true and princesses would rather go out with brutes and gnomes before having anything to do with a Prince Charming. In the game of dating and in the dance of courtship, these “nice guys" have a special reserved spot down at the bottom of the food chain, feeling more like Dopey rather than royalty.

Why do nice guys finish last? In retrospect, the nineties was the decade when chivalry officially died, but I didn’t think it would also spell the end to the Prince Charmings of the world. It is a jaded observation but girls prefer boorishness to sensitivity and passion over stability. One can never fully understand the rationale behind the female mind, but it just defies all logic, driving unsuspecting victims to look for long-term relationships with guys who are really just looking for flings. They are like moths drawn to a flame, ever-willing to be burned in the name of love.

This leaves the nice guy wallowing in misery and watching helplessly as one girl after another leaps into the arms of those guys who seem to have an edge about them. Whatever happened to finding a guy you could bring home to your mother? Unless I miss my guess, this may be one of the reasons why they never seem to get ahead. When the forerunners of women’s liberation first began their movement years ago, I’m sure they never expected their vision to evolve into what it is right now. We live in a world where opening doors and pulling out chairs for ladies won’t win you points with anyone. We live in a world where being courteous, well-mannered and sympathetic have become “flawed" traits rather than things you would look for in a guy. We live in a world where the females actually hold all the cards.

Things have indeed gone topsy-turvy and it is a misconception to think of it as a man’s world nowadays. Girls have assumed the roles that men for many generations were accustomed to. They are now the ones who conk guys on the head and drag them back to their caves; they are now the hunters and the conquerors. It is safe to think of the nice guys as timid, stationary targets while the bad boys can be likened to wild game, a chase that females can really sink their teeth into. Girls are in the game simply because they want to be known as the ones who tamed the savage beast.

In defense of females everywhere, the nice guy syndrome may not really be their fault. Nice guys, with all their sensitivity and kindness, almost always see their potential romantic situations “graduate" into deep, meaningful friendships. This is an inescapable plateau that, in reality, spells the doom and should dash any hopes of the nice guy carrying this friendship to another level. To girls, the nice guys suddenly get tagged as “comfortable"(like an old pair of socks) and their friendship becomes too “valuable"to risk it in the name of a relationship. They become spectators and sounding boards to the females who are busy with their hunt.

A lot of the nice guys accept this lot in life but some try their damnedest to shake off this clean-cut image. They eventually find out though, that their efforts are to no avail because try as they might, their inherent goodness just keeps cracking the veneer and seeping through.

I should know.

I’ve tried everything from antipathy to cigarettes but despite the smoke and mud that I’ve tried to cake myself in, I realize that I wouldn’t be happy if I found someone who would love me if I wasn’t me. That leaves me where I started, at the bottom of the food chain, waiting for some love to come my way.

Life in Perspective (part 2 of 2)

2008-03-01T22:03:00.000+08:00

For almost a month now, the “regular programming” of my life has been interrupted, quite literally, by a series of breaking news stories. First was the de Venecia ouster at the Lower House, which I had woken up to while it was being aired live on ANC (also because of Paul’s rousing). I don’t know why I cared about it so much, but I sat up although it was already past midnight and sat through the ENTIRE voting process. I took note of what the representatives were saying and how they were saying it, and part of me wished that I could send them better speeches through WiFi. Next was the live press conference of ZTE whistleblower Jun Lozada, and again I sat through the entire presscon, enraged at what I was hearing and feeling utterly frustrated that I couldn’t do anything to fix the system.

And then I hit upon a “brilliant” idea: Why not write my thoughts and suggestions down and send them to newspaper editors, congressmen, senators, media, and so on? I was so impassioned by the issues and so insistent on making my voice heard that, three days of watching round-the-clock coverages later, I drafted my “10-point reform agenda” and sent them to all those whom I thought would be interested in my ideas.

I’m not sure if the newspapers ever picked up my email and published it as a Letter to the Editor, but so many others responded and asked to meet with me. There was a lawyer working here and in the US who had been working on judicial reforms for some time now, a political party based on “moral leadership” that had fielded a handful of senatorial candidates in the 2007 elections, an organization based in my alma mater’s rival school, and even some Filipinos from different parts of the world. It was heartening and encouraging, and part of me felt that “this is what I’m supposed to do.”

And it has since turned my life completely upside down. In a mere three weeks, I had spoken at a press conference, helped organize a widely covered noise barrage and concert that showed my face on TV, participated in yet another rally (the fourth or fifth since my political life began 12 years ago), and been elected one of the vice chairpersons of a newly formed political group. Between actual (paid) work and volunteer activities, it’s my socio-civic involvements that have occupied most of my time as of late. Even I am questioning if this is the right thing to do (because, after all, I have bills to pay and cannot afford to spend more than 50 percent of my time on pro bono work), but my heart and my gut tell me that it is.

On my way home this afternoon from Jay’s memorial service, one of good friends posed me the same question: “Aren’t you doing too much, Nines? You could afford to turn your back on these things, you know.”

Yes, I know. But I’m not sure if I want to.

To be very honest, I still don’t know where all this is leading to. But I also know that it is bringing me so much more fulfillment than money alone can. If some people get a high out of shopping or playing video games or taking *stuff*, then I get a high out of participating in political processes. (I’ve even forgone watching my favorite TV shows in favor of 24-hour news.) Don’t ask me why because I don’t understand it myself.

The entire process has also brought me much closer to my beloved. Ever since we met in the student council 12 years ago, Paul and I have always seen in each other a kindred soul when it came to the things that we believed in. Now, over four years after getting together and just a few months shy of being husband and wife, we are finding in each other a much-needed source of support, encouragement, and clarity. Things just seem to be falling neatly into place for both of us these days. And the constant news-watching and political discoursing actually helps. (Some people go on dinner dates; we watch the news and share our respective commentaries.)

What does all this mean for me on a practical level? While I admit to being momentarily distracted by current events to be able to meet all my deadlines, I also know that all this clarity is making me a better person—and, I hope, a better writer. My exposure to business, to arts and culture, to politics, to civic life is allowing me to better see each one’s place and role in society. It’s giving me a clearer perspective on why my work is important and what else I can do to be more effective. It’s allowing me to see how important beauty is in our society—because, while certain values and ideals truly cannot be measured, these are important in enabling a more humane and dignified society.

At the intersection of Jay’s passing and all these political involvements, I realized that, at the very core, I am somebody who cannot compartmentalize the different aspects of my life—nor can I just “shut off” certain things (such as politics or my family). My beliefs and my value system are reflected in my work, just as my different engagements reflect the different values and principles that I hold dear. Take away Ateneo, take away politics, take away volunteer work, take away art… and you would have taken away “vital organs” that enable me to function. I simply cannot do without them.

If there is one thing that Jay’s life has taught me, it is that you can be anyone you want to be—whenever you want to do it. Aside from being a very talented copywriter, Jay was a radio DJ, a voice talent, a songwriter, a host, one of the founders of an organization that helped educate children, and a WONDERFUL friend, brother, and son. He never let anything stop him from doing that which mattered to him, and so he lived a very, very full and rich life in spite of his youth. Although he passed away at 32, the legacy he has left behind surpasses even those of some of our elders here. Jay showed all of us that life can be great—every single day—and that you don’t have to wait to make your dreams come true.

Jay once wrote in my blog (A Spoonful of Sugar) that “nice guys finish last.” This time, I know that he finished first, and that he’s taking the gold all the way to heaven. I only hope to be able to touch as many lives as he had.

Life in Perspective (part 1 of 2)

2008-03-01T21:59:00.000+08:00

1 March 2008

Today my college friends and I laid a very, very dear friend of ours to rest. John Julian “Jay” Tan III, one of my best friends (and the would-have-been host of my wedding and the ninong of my future first-born), died due to complications arising from his kidney transplant and the medications that he had to take after it. Although the apparent cause of death was cardiac arrest, Jay had already battled heart and kidney diseases months—even years—before his passing. He was only 32.

I received the text about Jay’s passing on the afternoon of February 25, while I was at the Ateneo grounds preparing for a big concert “for truth, accountability, and reform.” I will never forget that scene: I was doing a last-minute text blast to friends, encouraging them to join the concert, when the text about Jay came—and from someone outside my college group. I immediately knew that it was true (because nobody would dare joke about Jay), but I just stood there for a few minutes—in shock and trying to collect my wits, until a volunteer rushed to me, asking a question while tears streamed down my face. There I was, doing something that was supposed to “make a difference” in the country, and yet one of my favorite people had died without having felt my presence while he was sick. I’m not sure I made much of a difference in Jay’s life in the weeks before we passed away.

It was a big slap on the face for me—as if the Universe were saying, “For all your ‘noble’ aspirations, you couldn’t be there for your friend. And now he’s gone. What good does ‘saving the world’ do when you couldn’t save your friend?”

The last phone conversation we had was about a DVD I excitedly bought for him at a sale in Greenbelt. Jay had a HUGE DVD collection at home, and I had borrowed two Spanish titles years ago and then lost them when we transferred homes. I knew that Jay was deeply disappointed, but he never showed it. I promised to get him a new copy and only got to do so—and an original one at that!—three years later. So I excitedly called him up and told him that I bought him an original DVD, and I promised to visit him “soon” to do marathon DVD-watching.

His reply was, “When will that be? You always promise to visit, but you haven’t yet.”

That was another slap in the face. Among my many circles of friends, I’m probably known as a flaker because I usually confirm my attendance at gatherings early—only to back out at the last minute because of events that I have to attend or cover, because of deadlines that I need to meet, or because of immobility. The bottomline is: work has become a very convenient excuse to miss social gatherings, and now I’m realizing how important those coffees and dinners really are. They might be the last you’ll ever have with someone.

So I’m saddened not because Jay is gone (because he is fully alive in my heart and in my soul), but because I was not able to show him how much I loved and cared for him when he needed his friends the most. While I was busy going about my work and enjoying the lifestyle that it enabled me to have, my “brother” was immobilized by his medical condition and had to give up a lot of the things that he enjoyed. And I couldn’t even cheer him up.

Events like this make you wonder what your life is really all about. They challenge the value you place upon your family, friends, and emotional support structure. They force you to rethink your priorities and figure out where things really fall within the entire scheme of things. They make you look at the things that you value most and ask you, “Does it really make a difference?”

One Saturday would have meant so much to Jay, and I couldn’t even give him that. And now he’s gone. And there will be countless Saturdays without him.

When a dear, dear friend dies...

2008-02-27T05:52:00.000+08:00

... You think of all the great times that you had together

And the ones you will never, ever have again.

... You cry not for him, because you know that he is already at peace.

You cry for yourself because you were not there for him when he was in pain.

Because you were too busy working. Or "saving the world."

But you were not able to save him.

And you never got to say goodbye.

Bouncey, I'm so, so, so sorry... I hope you do know (and I tried to tell you as best as I could) that I have always loved you. You have always been, and always will be, one of my Top Three. You know that.

John Julian "Jay" Tan III (a.k.a. Bounce): September 1, 1975 to February 25, 2008

2008-02-25T18:31:00.000+08:00

Bouncey...

Here's to that first fateful date that you witnessed

(And the many others that you heard of...)

To all the tears that you caught

With every time that my heart broke

(Whether through my own fault or otherwise)

And the big, warm hugs that you generously gave

Here's to conversations about your Dewey and my Ravi

(Or whatever name we would have called them)

And how they would have been best friends

Here's to the debut that you hosted oh-so-well

And the wedding that would have been your show

Here's to pillow talk

And DVD days

To Hablo con Ella

And Y Tu Mama Tambien

Here's to all the looooooong nights

Talking on the phone

About your ___

And my ____

And everything else in between

Here's to the temper tantrums

That only YOU witnessed

And to everything that you meant to me

You were one of my Top Three

My big brother

My best friend

The guy that would have seen it all

I WILL MISS YOU TERRIBLY,

MY DEAR, DEAR BOUNCEY.

Even after you're gone

Only YOU will be able to call me

Your little sister, Niney.

The youth are asking for reform, not rhetoric (TEAM RP Press Statement)

2008-02-25T03:17:00.000+08:00

Please allow me to share with you the statement that we at TEAM RP released to the media during our presscon last Saturday.

To push our advocacy further, we are staging the TEAM RP CONCERT FOR TRUTH, ACCOUNTABILITY, AND REFORM THIS AFTERNOON (25 FEB, 4-8PM) AT THE ATENEO DE MANILA UNIVERSITY CAMPUS (GATE 2.5), LOYOLA HEIGHTS, QUEZON CITY. More than being just an ordinary concert, this event will gather TEAM RP volunteers from different institutions and sectors to help us in the necessary and crucial activities to follow.

For more information about TEAM RP and how you can help us work for TRUTH, ACCOUNTABILITY, and REFORM in governance, please email me at nina[dot]terol[at]gmail[dot]com. Please also pass this on to your friends who can help us.

---

TEAM RP

PRESS STATEMENT: February 23, 2008

REFORM, NOT RHETORIC

We are the generation of Filipinos who stand before you today, filled with high hopes for our nation despite the convoluted and confounding events unfolding before us. We acknowledge that we have tolerated and contributed to a system of dysfunction, corruption, and selfishness not only in public governance but also in other spheres of daily life. But we also realize that, just as we have contributed to the problem engulfing our country today, so can we work proactively to set things right. Therefore, we are here before you today to declare our commitment to pursuing TRUTH, ACCOUNTABILITY, and REFORM for the sake of millions of Filipinos who are hungry, desperate for, and deserving of real progress.

While the rest of the country is hooked on the unfolding telenovela that the recent spate of scandals have become, we see that the cycle of greed, malpractice, and corruption has gone on for generations already, and has been inherited by each generation after it. Though our outcry has been brought out by our gross appreciation of what has been going on and revealed to the public these days, we believe that anyone in public office is accidental to our call for genuine, fundamental, and systemic reforms. We will continue fighting for our cause regardless of who is in power.

In our pursuit of TRUTH, we believe that every citizen should be given the right and the freedom to access information—about how they are being governed, how public resources are being allocated, how their officials (whether elected or appointed) are performing their duties. If we are to effectively participate in democratic processes, then we must have access to information that we will need to make intelligent decisions.

In our pursuit of ACCOUNTABILITY, we believe that people should be held accountable to and by the public whom they serve—and not merely to and by the Powers that Be that direct their careers and their paychecks. We believe in upholding retributive justice by prosecuting unlawful acts and pressuring wrongdoers to correct their mistakes and effectively prevent such problems from happening again. Many crooks—not only in government but also in the private sector—have gotten away with their crimes simply because we chose to look away, let them go, or negate our laws and judicial processes. We have to make our democracy work by ensuring that our institutions are functional, regardless of the personalities within them.

In our pursuit of GENUINE REFORMS, we believe that specific policies, programs, and practices should be enacted and implemented—and others abolished—to bring about real, tangible solutions to age-old problems. The public's outrage and frustration should be channeled into efforts to change not just governments and personalities, but entire systems as well. We must act as a people to ensure that appropriate reforms are effected and that results are continuously monitored, evaluated, and revised in order to maintain ethical effectiveness. People change, times change; so, too, must systems change accordingly.

We may be young and lacking in experience, but we do not fall short of the passion, the belief, and the hope that the Philippines can still be a country to be proud of—not only in the future, but also in the here and now. We hope that our actions will encourage our fellow Filipinos to set aside partisanship, political mudslinging and grandstanding, personality bashing, and the protection of familial ties or friendship in favor of pursuing higher goods that will benefit each and every one of us.

Since the beginning of our collective history, many men and women—perhaps including you, in some instances—stood up and risked their own lives so that we in this generation may have the liberties we now enjoy. So now, we are putting these same liberties to good use to rise—rise above the system of inequity, injustice, and ineffectiveness that this current system has bred. We urge you: push for change, BE the change.

One country, one team: TEAM RP

2008-02-18T05:15:00.000+08:00

We have only one country
We are only one people

Regardless of color
Regardless of tongue
Regardless of location
Regardless of faith
Regardless of affiliation

Let us blur party lines, break down walls
Let us be ONE COUNTRY, ONE TEAM

Please join TEAM RP!

Quote of the Day

2008-02-09T10:48:00.000+08:00

"Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will."

- George Bernard Shaw

A CONCERNED CITIZEN’S 10-POINT REFORM AGENDA TO STRENGTHEN THE PHILIPPINE BUREAUCRACY

2008-02-09T10:37:00.000+08:00

I break my online silence with this open letter, which I drafted late last night.

---

8 February 2008

Dear friends and fellow citizens of the Philippine Republic:

I am writing this in the wake of several events that have greatly upset the balance of various forces that keep our teetering nation afloat.

Three nights ago, I awoke from a night-time nap to see a live telecast of the House of Representatives unseating its incumbent Speaker after an explosive (but not shocking) revelation and a long and tense voting process, and then installing a new Speaker from the same party.

Then, the day after that, I once again awoke from my slumber in time to see another live telecast—this time showing an emotionally charged man presenting a damning testimony about a large-scale government project and billions of pesos that we (and our children and grandchildren, and maybe even our great-grandchildren) will have to repay in taxes and foregone basic social services.

Through these past three days, I have kept close watch over the unfolding of events and have felt a deep sense of sadness, frustration, anger—and even rage—over what our country has turned into. Here I am, still in this country in spite of several opportunities to leave, and I’m wondering if this country is indeed still worth staying for, still worth fighting for. I feel sad that I feel this way; I feel frustrated because I don’t know if ANYTHING I do will really make a big difference; and I feel anger and rage because I do not deserve this. WE do not deserve this.

I am not here to take sides, or to lay blame, but to make my feelings and ideas known. The problems we face in our country are systemic; short-term, “Band-Aid” solutions will not work. In the same way, merely replacing our leaders (such as what the Lower House did) will not do much to change the system. What we need is to OVERHAUL the way we regard and treat our government (which includes the ENTIRE bureaucracy), the way we regard and treat our country and the way we regard and treat ourselves.

For as long as we think that our government is made up of the “latak” of Philippine society, then that’s what we will get. For as long as we EXPECT government workers to be small-minded and corruptible, then that’s what they will. So maybe it’s about time to DEMAND that our government be made of the best, the brightest, and the most qualified of professionals—with some degree of credibility, authority, and moral ascendancy over their posts. Then, perhaps, real change can begin.

What I propose, therefore, are some steps that will entail changing and strengthening the bureaucracy from within. These are by no means politically motivated or even politically focused; these ideas are more organizational in nature—meant to “attack” the virus at its core, regardless of who is in charge.

So please indulge me in sharing my ideas. I realize that I probably have no authority to say these things—I am, after all, merely a communicator with no degree in law or government, with no actual government experience, and with no PhDs to boast of. BUT I CARE. I care so much about what happens to us that I wish I were better equipped to actually make these changes happen. But like José Rizal, one of this country’s greatest thinkers with whom I share my alma mater, my only weapon is my pen—and, perhaps, my great love for this country.

If, after you read this, you think that there may actually be some merit to these ideas, please feel free to pass this letter on to those in government, in civil society, in the academe, or in the private sector who would be capable of putting these reforms into place. At this point, I simply need the catharsis or I will explode.

Reform and strengthen the bureaucracy

Change must happen not only in the top tiers of government, but also deep within it and across the board. I have heard many, many horror stories of the dysfunctions of the system not only because of its leaders, but also because of the very people who make it up. If we are working in the government, or transacting with it and acquiescing to the very ills that pain us today (as most of us are), then we are part of the problem, too. Therefore, the solutions must start at the grassroots level of governance.

1. Require ALL public officials to pass the Civic Service Exam AND a standard psychological exam before assuming an appointive and/or elective post. Corollary to that, require all legislative posts (and even all top appointive posts, from cabinet secretaries down to their assistant secretaries and group heads) to first pass a Constitutional Exam before even being allowed to file for candidacy. (This may require a constitutional amendment)

2. Conduct bi-annual metrics-based performance evaluation of all elected and appointed officials through a publicized scorecard showing officials’ Key Result Areas and Key Performance Indicators, and enabling citizens across the board to know how their officials fared. (For this, we can look to the BPO industries and other best practices in the private sector for the necessary templates.)

3. Regularly convene a Citizens’ Evaluation Board that will act as a jury to input their own evaluations of public officials and their legislations or projects.

4. Strengthen the hiring and firing system of the Civic Service Commission to ensure that only those who are qualified for posts are hired, and that those who are unqualified or fail to perform are disciplined, penalized, and/or fired.

5. Streamline the bureaucracy: eliminate redundant posts and ghost employees to free up government funds to raise baseline salaries (competitive to those of private sector posts, since nobody can live on a salary of P4,500 (!!) or even P9,000 a month) and introduce incentives to attract qualified talent to the government. How much is good governance worth? Why do we pay our government officials so poorly and then get surprised when people cheat, lie, and steal to make ends meet?

6. Convene think tanks from the academe, civil society, and private sector (Filipinos based here and abroad) to make specific recommendations about various priority areas in government. Make these recommendations public so that there is transparency and accountability in addressing these recommendations.

7. Require the publication of all elected officials’ and candidates evaluations prior to an election period (where applicable). Exploit the power of available technology to demand transparency and accountability from all government officials and employees.

Discourage and eliminate corruption

There is absolutely no excuse for corrupt practices. However, our current bureaucratic system has encouraged it because it has failed to reward achievements and punish offenses.

8. Institutionalize regulated and standardized project management fees for government agencies that manage projects. Perhaps the answer to all these under-the-table kickbacks and commissions is to bring them out into the open and standardize them. After all, many companies charge project management fees to run projects; maybe the same system can be applied to government agencies (so that we can stop denying that such kickbacks and commissions exist!). Make project management fees “receiptable” and their reports public so that everyone will know who is getting how much for what. Further incentives (performance bonuses, etc.) could be granted to project management teams that deliver exceptional results.

a. Example 1: For projects below P10M, a 10% project management fee may be allotted to the project management team/involved government agency. Of this 10%, the project proponent and members of the project team will get their own (standardized) professional fees as compensation for their time, skills, and expertise. Not only will this, in current events lingo, “moderate the greed;” it might be a good way to start correcting our government’s “dysfunctional procurement system.”

b. Example 2: For projects ranging from P10M to P99M, the project management fee may be lowered to 5-7%; and so on.

9. Publish a Web-based portal (developed and managed by academe, civil society, private sector, with the cooperation of all government departments, agencies, and branches) of all existing government projects (including infrastructure projects initiated by legislators) that will enable even ordinary citizens to track the progress of projects and demand government accountability when and where it is required. Corollary to this, require all legislators, cabinet secretaries, etc. to publish audited reports of their PDAF and department budgets the way publicly listed companies publish their annual reports.

10. Create support structures to encourage and protect private citizens who need to report cases of government corruption across all levels. From those of us who get stopped on the street for traffic offenses we did not commit, to those of us filing government documents and asked to be paid a small fee (“padulas”) to expedite its completion, to those of us involved in government contracts and asked to pay exorbitant amounts to get our projects approved, ALL of us—at one time or another—have been subject to graft and corruption in government. Can’t there be a better way of reporting offenses and protecting ourselves? Perhaps we can also use SMS- and Web-based technologies to make such systems possible. More than this, there should be a campaign to encourage reporting and “whistle-blowing” of government transgressions. After all, we should all be encouraged to tell the truth so that those who are doing underhanded acts are discouraged from doing so.

The events that have recently unfolded in our country only show that we can no longer turn a blind eye on the practical and gray realities surrounding us. Outside of the greed that permeates our society, people are motivated by sheer NEED AND HUNGER. They do not earn the proper wages, so they feel the need to resort to underhanded and criminal acts in order to feed themselves and their families. They do not get the respect they deserve as officials of the Philippine government, so they resort to bullying and power-tripping in order to feel their importance. They are not shown respect and dignity as human beings, so they trample on others’ dignity in order to feel a bit better about their plight. This in no way excuses people’s actions, but it’s, perhaps, the “dark side” of human nature that we ought to recognize and address squarely in the face.

I really hope that things can still be done to heal the wounds that are hurting all of us. More importantly, I hope that WE can be part of the solution. It doesn’t matter whether we’re earning P1,000 or P1,000,000 a month; this upheaval affects each of us, so the answer MUST lie (somehow) in each of us as well.

Thank you for bearing with me. If there is anything I can do to be of greater service to my country, please let me know.

Yours truly,

Niña Terol

Writer. Communicator. Filipino

nina.terol@gmail.com

Quote of the Day

2008-01-13T04:48:00.000+08:00

I always knew that one day
I would take this road but
Yesterday
I did not know today
Would be the day.

~ Nagarjuna

Found in The Artist's Way at Work by Mark Bryan with Julia Cameron and Catherine Allen

Now Is The Time: Bloom Where You Are Planted

2008-01-06T02:49:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Having a vision for our future that differs from our current circumstances can be inspiring and exciting, but it can also keep us from fully committing to our present placement. We may become aware that this is happening when we notice our thoughts about the future distracting us from our participation in the moment. We may find upon searching our hearts that we are waiting for some future time or situation in order to self-actualize. This would be like a flower planted in North Dakota putting off blooming because it would prefer to do so in Illinois.

There are no guarantees in this life, so when we hold back we do so at the risk of never fully blossoming. This present moment always offers us the ground in which we can take root and open our hearts now. What this means is that we live fully, wherever we are, not hesitating because conditions are not perfect, or we might end up moving, or we haven’t found our life partner. This can be scary, because we might feel that we are giving up our cherished dreams if we do not agree to wait for them. But this notion that we have to hold back our life force now in order to find happiness later doesn’t really make sense. What might really be happening is that we are afraid to embrace this moment, and ourselves, just exactly as we are right now. This constitutes a tendency to hold back from fully loving ourselves, as we are, where we are.

We have a habit of presenting life with a set of conditions—ifs and whens that must be fulfilled before we will say yes to the gift of our lives. Now is the time for each of us to bloom where we are planted, overriding our tendency to hold back. Now is the time to say yes, to be brave and commit fully to ourselves, because until we do no one else will. Now is the time to be vulnerable, unfolding delicately yet fully into the space in which we find ourselves.

Quote of the Day

2008-01-04T04:02:00.000+08:00

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

~ Albert Einstein

A Beloved Professor Delivers The Lecture of a Lifetime

2008-01-04T02:21:00.000+08:00

Link

I read this from Kids Ahoy!'s site and, I must say, it's an inspiring and humbling read for this time of the year. We all need to be reminded of what really matters most in life.

Just for Today: 5 Affirmations

2008-01-04T02:10:00.000+08:00

Over the course of my studies in meditation/New Age philosophies, I have discovered that affirmations really do work. They put you in a state of positivity, confidence, belief, and faith that whatever you set out to achieve is already in the process of being so.

As I was meditating on my mom's veranda this morning, with the morning sun looking down on me and filling me with all the energy I need to start the day right, five affirmations came to mind. I figured, if we focus on them JUST FOR TODAY, every day, then it would be so much easier to achieve our goals.

* * *

Just for today, I will honor my Body, the temple of my Soul.
Just for today, I will honor my work.
Just for today, I will honor the people around me.
Just for today, I will honor myself.
Just for today, I will honor my Creator and everything that the Universe has made available to me.

So be it.

* * *

You Are Beautiful: Seeing Ourselves

2008-01-03T04:17:00.000+08:00

*A very apt post for what we are about to undertake*

Taken from The Daily Om

Many of us do not take the time to notice and acknowledge how beautiful we are as humans. We may be great lovers of beauty, seeing it in the people, places, and things around us, while completely missing it in ourselves. Some of us feel that it is vain to consider our appearance too much, or we may find that when we look at ourselves, all we see are imperfections. Often we come to the mirror with expectations and preconceived notions about beauty that blind us from seeing ourselves clearly. As a result, we miss the beauty that is closest to us, the beauty we are. Sometimes we see our beauty in a shallow way, noticing how well we are conforming to social norms, but failing to see the deeper beauty that shines out from within and that will continue to shine regardless of how we measure up to society’s ideal.

If we can cut through all these obstacles and simply appreciate how beautiful we are, we free up so much energy. We also become less dependent upon the opinions and feedback of others since we become our own greatest admirers. Many of us know that after a great yoga practice or a long, deep meditation, we are more able to see how beautiful we are. This is because we have released some of our baggage, thus unburdening ourselves and summoning forth the spirit that dwells within us. It is the heady combination of the divine spirit and the human body that conveys beauty more accurately than anything else.

To keep ourselves in touch with our own beauty, we can surround ourselves with images that reflect our beauty back to us—photos of a relative or child who has our eyes, images of teachers who embody spirit, or self-portraits that capture our essence in a way that allows us to see ourselves anew. The best way to keep ourselves in touch with our own beauty is to keep looking deeply into our own souls and opening our eyes to the human being we see in the mirror every day.

Quote of the Day

2008-01-02T02:47:00.000+08:00

For last year's words belong to last year's language, And next year's words await another voice.And to make an end is to make a beginning.

~ T.S. Eliot in Little Gidding

A relevant New Year's question from Paulo Coelho

2008-01-02T02:40:00.000+08:00

People make a lot of resolutions every beginning of the year. How many of your resolutions for 2007 have you fulfilled?

Love,
Paulo

--
To answer, click here

Starting New: A Moment Of Choice

2008-01-02T02:35:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

There are times in our lives that lend themselves to starting something new. The beginning of a new year, finishing school, leaving a job, or changing homes—these all are times that turn our minds to fresh starts. Their advantage is that they bring with them the energy of that event, creating a tide of change around them that we can ride to our next shoreline. But we can choose to start anew anytime. In any moment we can decide that a bad day or a relationship that’s gotten off on the wrong foot can be started again. It is a mental shift that allows us to clean the slate and approach anything with fresh eyes, and we can make that choice at any time.

Starting new is most powerful when we focus our attention to what we are choosing to create. Giving all of our attention to the unwanted aspects of our lives allows what we resist to persist. We need to remember to leave enough room in the process of new beginnings to be kind to ourselves, because it takes time to become accustomed to anything new, no matter how much we like it. There is no need to get down on ourselves if we don't reach our new goals instantly. Instead, we acknowledge the forward motion and choose to reset and start again, knowing that with each choice we learn, grow, and move forward.

Making the choice to start anew has its own energy—it's a promise made to you. The forward momentum creates a sort of vacuum behind it, pulling toward you all you need to help you continue moving in your chosen direction. Once the journey has begun, it may take unexpected turns, but it never really ends. Like cycles in nature, there are periods of obvious growth and periods of dormancy that signal a time of waiting for the right moment to burst forth. Each time we choose to start anew we dedicate ourselves to becoming the best we are able to be.

THIS YEAR by Chantal Kreviazuk

2008-01-01T11:34:00.000+08:00

These are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies, Serendipity

THIS YEAR
Chantal Kreviazuk

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

This year, I'll paint my masterpiece
This year, I'll be recognized
I can feel like I'll fall in love for real
This year, this year

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh...

This year, I'll reach the pinnacle
This year, I'll get to the top
People will ask where she get that energy
This year, I'm never gonna stop

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

I'm gonna have fun
Just watch me now
This year
This year
This year

Quote of the Day

2007-12-27T03:04:00.000+08:00

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.

What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.

~ Attributed to Pedro Arrupe, S.J. (1907-1991), Superior General of the Society of Jesus 1961-1984

Time heals all wounds; love speeds up the process.

2007-12-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

And, somehow, Christmas came back...

Christmas evening, with just Nat King Cole

2007-12-25T14:30:00.000+08:00

It’s Christmas evening, and I am alone in my mom’s place, writing this entry while listening to Nat King Cole. Mom had to take a flight to Davao for work, and Aljoe and Erica joined her. I should be somewhere else, feeling the joy of the season. Instead I decided to use the time and the space to be alone and really just... feel.

What a crazy past few days. What a crazy Christmas. And it ain’t really over yet.

How it began, I really don’t know. Did it begin weeks or months ago, when disturbing dreams and feelings entered my consciousness? Did it begin when I started feeling an odd thump-thump in my heart and a familiar knot in the stomach? Or did it begin just that night, at someone else’s wedding (too much like the one we wanted to have for ourselves)?

I really don’t know. But it happened. And people got hurt. And Christmas took on a different meaning altogether.

Strangely enough, as I sit here with Nat King Cole’s voice singing “Unforgettable,” I feel an odd kind of peace knowing that I am strong, my mind is clear, and my feelings are real. Am I sad? Yes, that it happened. Am I in pain? Yes, still. Especially knowing that I was hurt and caused hurt in return. At Christmas, of all times. Am I angry? I was, but I somehow can’t feel it anymore. Am I scared? Yes, because of the uncertainty that tomorrow brings. But all these feelings are eclipsed by the fact that I feel so much Love flowing within me.

Love. At this time. While I’m alone. After everything that had happened in the past three days.

And I don’t know what will happen tonight, or in the next few days, or in the next year. All I know is that I will be guided by Love. Real, pure, uncomplicated Love.

“I don’t know why
I know these things
But I do.”
~ I Don’t Know Why, October Project

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

I saw a rainbow this morning, from mom's veranda...

2007-12-24T03:11:00.000+08:00

... and I know that everything is going to be okay.

You Will Never Hear My Heart Breaking

2007-12-23T04:04:00.000+08:00

You will never hear my heart breaking
It shatters into a million pieces
And yet my heart is mute
And you are deaf.

You will not hear my sobs
These cries of anguish that escape
From my soul,
But not from my lips
For my lips smile when you are near
Yet my eyes hide
The tears that will not come out.

My peace is an illusion
As is your love.

But I know
That without my peace
Your world will crumble
And without your love
My world will end.

And so we stand here
Deaf,
Mute,
Blind.

Indeed, love is blind
The heart has gouged its eyes out
For love cannot see
What is truly in the heart of man--
Darkness
An abyss that extends to eternity
A nothingness
That love believes to be serenity,
Peace.

My peace is an illusion
As is your love
But you will never hear my heart breaking

* * *

I wrote this once under a pseudonym, because I did not wish to own the feeling. I denied any association with it. Now, this is my heart on my sleeve, and I dedicate it to the man who has taught me to be strong.

All good things must come to an end.

2007-12-23T01:37:00.000+08:00

Letting The Curves Take You: Control

2007-12-20T02:18:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Trying to maintain control in this life is a bit like trying to maintain control on a roller coaster. The ride has its own logic and is going to go its own way, regardless of how tightly you grip the bar. There is a thrill and a power in simply surrendering to the ride and fully feeling the ups and downs of it, letting the curves take you rather than fighting them. When you fight the ride, resisting what’s happening at every turn, your whole being becomes tense and anxiety is your close companion. When you go with the ride, accepting what you cannot control, freedom and joy will inevitably arise.

As with so many seemingly simple things in life, it is not always easy to let go, even of the things we know we can’t control. Most of us feel a great discomfort with the givens of this life, one of which is the fact that much of the time we have no control over what happens. Sometimes this awareness comes only when we have a stark encounter with this fact, and all our attempts to be in control are revealed to be unnecessary burdens. We can also cultivate this awareness in ourselves gently, by simply making surrender a daily practice. At the end of our meditation, we might bow, saying, “I surrender to this life.” This simple mantra can be repeated as necessary throughout the day, when we find ourselves metaphorically gripping the safety bar.

We can give in to our fear and anxiety, or we can surrender to this great mystery with courage. When we see people on a roller coaster, we see that there are those with their faces tight with fear and then there are those that smile broadly, with their hands in the air, carried through the ride on a wave of freedom and joy. This powerful image reminds us that often the only control we have is choosing how we are going to respond to the ride.

Mr. Coelho asked, I answered

2007-12-17T03:19:00.000+08:00

In his blog, Paulo Coelho asked this question:

In the Genesis it is told that once Adam ate the forbidden fruit God said: “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever “. How do you interpret this passage?
Love,
Paulo

I had just come from my morning walk (the one I intend to take regularly) and had just read a few pages of The Celestine Prophecy before beginning my day. I suppose it’s no wonder, then, that this was the answer my fingers typed out (rather hastily, too, so please pardon spelling and minor grammar errors):

If we look at humankind's evolution, it has always been about a search for something greater--some knowledge, meaning, and purpose.

At first it was about survival. The earliest human beings did what they did because they had to fight off predators and find ways of beating the odds.

Then, humans learned how to fashion tools for themselves, and science and technology were born. As the centuries passed, we learned more and more to control our environment to make it comfortable for us. Once the prey struggling for survival, we now became the predators--searching for conquest and control. This is what the great wars were all about. Until now, we seem stuck in this "mode" of conquering and controlling.

The tree of knowledge taught us truths that we learned to understand and use. Now we want the tree of life to ultimately control everything and make ourselves masters of the Universe, of creation.

However, this is not our true purpose here. Humankind was made to be STEWARDS of creation, and not its lords or masters. Interpreted in a negative way, we human beings have become so used to control and power that we now are using technology to achieve the impossible: immortality. This is not wrong or bad, per se, but it leads to a way of thinking that is unhealthy--because we are not the Ultimate, our lives are not the Ultimate. We are just threads in the greater fabric of creation.

Looking at this in a positive way, human beings can "take from the tree of life" and use this to make life better for everyone else. Just as we are finding ways to live healthier, grow stronger, and look younger, we are also now realizing the mistakes of our past actions and are trying to somehow reverse the ecological damages brought upon by past generations. We are trying to reduce carbon emissions, we are trying to save endangered species, we are trying to right the wrongs that ignorance has caused our forefathers to do.

So, yes, we once acquired knowledge and learned how to use it. Now we want Life, and it is up to us to decide how this will be done--and, ultimately, what kind of Life we do want to have for humankind as a whole.

Seeing Inside: Sight Versus Vision

2007-12-15T02:32:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Sight is the ability to see the physical world while vision is the gift of seeing beyond it. Sight enables us to take the physical world in so we can participate in it with knowledge. It brings us pleasure through our eyes, which perceive the colors and shapes of all the myriad expressions of nature and human beings. It helps us feel in control, allowing us to see what is coming toward us, which way we are going, and exactly where we are standing at a given moment. We are able to read signs and books, navigate the interiors of buildings with ease, sense and perceive how a person is feeling by the expressions that cross her face.

As anyone who has lost their eyesight can tell you, though, there are things that are clearer when you cannot see the world through your eyes. One of the reasons many meditation instructors advise sitting with the eyes closed is because we automatically become more in touch with our inner world when we are not distracted by the outer world. It is in this state that vision becomes our mode of seeing. Vision comes from within and shows us how to navigate the realms of thought, feeling, and emotion. It enables us to see things that aren’t yet manifested in the world of form, and it also connects us to that part of ourselves that exists separately from the world of form.

As we age, even those of us with perfect eyesight will generally lose some of our acuity, but this loss is usually replaced with inner vision. This is the time of life when we are meant to turn inside and take what are sometimes the very first steps of a journey that cannot be traced on a map. We call upon intuition and feel our way along a path that ultimately carries us beyond the realm we can see with our eyes and into the land of spirit.

Crossing the Line

2007-12-14T17:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, you cross the line--from acquaintance to friend, from colleague to kindred soul.

When that happens, it's because you saw a little bit of yourself (or your fears) reflected in the other. And when stories are shared, it's because you both know that--somehow--the other will understand.

You also realize that the other's experiences hold lessons that you needed to learn--right at that time, right at that moment. You both had to hear what the other had to say.

The Universe/God often communicates with us through the friends we hold dear. And at that moment when you cross the line--from acquaintance to friend, from colleague to kindred soul--it's the Universe's way of reassuring you that your prayers are being heard and your questions are being answered.

I asked for it, and I got it

2007-12-13T13:10:00.000+08:00

A few months ago, I found myself in a slump and asked the Universe for a steady stream of projects.

The projects came rushing in.

A few months ago, I told the Universe that I wanted to start contributing for US-based publications.

That wish has been granted, too.

And now, with two weeks left 'till the new year, I find myself drowing in projects, articles, events, and deadlines, deadlines, deadlines (and all at the same time!). But I can't sink--because I asked for this!

So the next time you ask the Universe for something, you better be READY for when it answers.

What We Are Made Of: Choose Love

2007-12-12T03:23:00.000+08:00

Taken from The Daily Om

Love is often presented as the opposite of fear, but true love is not opposite anything. True love is far more powerful than any negative emotions, as it is the environment in which all things arise. Negative emotions are like sharks swimming in the ocean of love. All things beautiful and fearful, ugly and kind, powerful and small, come into existence, do their thing, and disappear within the context of this great ocean. At the same time, they are made of the very love in which they swim and can never be separated. We are made of this love and live our whole lives at one with it, whether we know it or not.

It is only the illusion that we are separate from this great love that causes us to believe that choosing anything other than love makes sense or is even possible. In the relative, dualistic world of positive and negative, darkness and light, male and female, we make choices and we learn from them. This is exactly what we are meant to be doing here on earth. Underlying these relative choices, though, is the choice to be conscious of what we are, which is love, or to be unconscious of it. When we choose to be conscious of it, we choose love. We will still exist in the relative world of opposites and choices and cause and effect, and we will need to make our way here, but doing so with an awareness that we are all made of this love will enable us to be more playful, more joyful, more loving and wise, as we make our way. Ultimately, the choices we make will shed light on the love that makes us all one, enabling those who have forgotten to return to the source.

This world makes it easy to forget this great love, which is part of why we are here. We are here to remember and, when we forget to remember again, to choose love.

My Surprise Act for Paul Ü

2007-12-11T06:34:00.000+08:00

THE MOON’S GIFT

Poetry by Niña Terol

Performed at the Romancing Venus Poetry Night, 10 December 2007

Mag:net Katipunan

For Paul, the man whose music has given me wings

In the darkness of night

As my world slumbers

And as I dream

Of forgotten wishes

Of friends long gone

Of the mysteries of the Universe

Your world

Is bursting

With music

With color

With life.

It is a world

I can glimpse

Only through your eyes

A life I cannot fully

Understand.

It is a force that

Separates us,

Keeps us distinct

As Sun and Moon

Although we share the same sky

And watch over the same world

I do not understand the Moon—

Do not comprehend

How it can affect the tides

Or cause me

To turn into a werewolf

At the stroke of midnight

I cannot read its Face

Nor decipher the smile or

The tears

That merge

With its light.

But I do know

That the Moon

Lights your way.

It shows you

Where to you

As you tread on your path

To greatness

To glory

To peace.

It gives you

The Strength

The Wisdom

And the Courage

To do what is right

To seek what is just

To summon the Will

To live

And love.

There are many things

I do not understand,

Many things

That often cause

The crease on my brow,

The frown on my lips.

But these are the same things

That give you

The power

To be the pillar of my world

The ground beneath my feet

The Force that

Pushes me

To reach for the sky

And shine

By my own light.

For as I slumber

And dream

Of princes turned toads,

Of genies and faraway lands

You are using your gift

To nourish me,

Keep me safe,

And make my dreams come true.

There are many things

I may not understand

But I thank them

For the gift of you

And for the gift of your love

That greets me

As the moon bades farewell

And leaves me to the

Warm embrace

Of Day.

My "Virgin Act" at Romancing Venus Poetry Night, 10 December 2007 =)

2007-12-11T06:26:00.000+08:00

INTERVIEW WITH THE CHRISTMAS STAR

Poetry by Niña Terol

Performed at the Romancing Venus Poetry Night, 10 December 2007

Mag:net Katipunan

When you shone your light

That night

A million moons ago

Did you know that

The Child

Was someday going to be

Taunted

Persecuted

But eventually become

King?

Did you cry when you saw

That your light

Illuminated

Even those whose hearts were dark?

Do you cry

When a child

Makes a wish

That you cannot grant?

Do you ever cry at all?

Do you ever wish

For something of your own?

What is it like

To be up there

Gazing at us

Down here

And hearing

Wishes

And prayers

And cries

But never really knowing

What it is

To live?

When you grant

A wish

For happiness

Or true love

Or peace

Do they ever stop

To thank you

And say how

Magnificent

Your light is?

Do they ever stop

To think

How you must feel

Standing alone

In the dark—

The nearest star

Light years away—

And dying just a little bit

Inside

So we could catch

A glimpse

Of your eternal smile?

Do you twinkle

When no one’s watching?

What has it cost you

To be where you are now?

Are you really happy?

When I look up

At the Heavens

And see you

Do you see me, too?

And when I wish

For nothing more

Than world peace

Do you smile at yourself

And say, “This girl is

A fool!”

Or are you relieved

That you got a wish

That is not yours to grant?

When you see me

Looking up at you

What do you really want

To say?

How much would you really

Give

To turn your light off for

Just a moment

And crash down on Earth

So that you’d finally know

How much it hurts

How much it costs

To be down here

When you see everyone

On Earth

Do you secretly say

A prayer of thanks

That the Heavens decided

To spare you

The agony of life

At the risk

Of never experiencing

Love?

Have you ever been in love?

If so

How much of yourself—

How many impossible wishes

Would you grant

To be alive

And in someone’s arms

Again?

How much would you really give?

Quote for the Day

2007-12-09T07:05:00.000+08:00

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love."

- Hamilton Wright Mabi

How to properly read your horoscope

2007-12-09T07:04:00.000+08:00

This morning, I was happily nestled in my beloved's arms and thinking to myself, "Ahhhh... Sunday... the best day of the week to sleep in and do nothing."

THEN, it hit me. I have a meeting in a few hours (yes, on a Sunday), and I have several deadlines tomorrow, so there would definitely be no sleeping in. I reluctantly tore myself away from my sweetie, got up, switched the computer on (yes, it's the first thing I do when I get up in the morning--very bad habit) and logged on to Gmail , where I got my horoscope reading for the day from The Daily Om:

Purposeful Dedication: Aquarius Daily Horoscope

You may feel devoted to your work responsibilities today. You may find that your work provides you with a solace and sense of security that causes you to invest more effort into your job. Perhaps this feeling is the result of a desire to affirm your sense of self through your work. While being dedicated to work is an important part of life, you may want to think about the deeper reasons behind your dedication. Consider analyzing your personal motivation for working. If you find that you are devoted to your tasks out of a sense of commitment to others and not for your self, today may be a good time to reassess your priorities and include yourself in the equation when committing yourself to projects. This may make it easier to act in accordance with your truth so that what you do is in alignment with who you are.

When we understand our true intentions behind anything we do, we are able to fulfill our tasks more effortlessly. By being aware of our intentions, we act from consciousness rather than habit or obligation. Assessing our reasons for our actions gives us the tools to create a more authentic intent—we can then act in alignment with our true desires. When you choose to be aware of your intentions as you work today, you will find it easier to choose work that is in alignment with what you truly want.

I was stunned by how accurate the horoscope reading was, and also grateful that I was reminded of why I was getting up on a Sunday to work. Because I had decided early on to dedicate my life to writing and to sharing others' stories, I have also realized that I must accept that my work doesn't stop on Sundays and holidays. Sometimes, the best stories happen on holidays, and, sometimes, the best time to write is when everyone else is resting, and when there is a general sense of "unhurriedness." Truth be told, I do some of my best writing on Sunday mornings.

That being said, I also realized some things about horoscopes and why I read them. Horoscopes (or at least the serious, credible ones) are not meant to predict the future. They will not (or should not) tell you that you will find true love today, or that you will meet an accident so it's better to stay at home. Only YOU can decide your fate; only YOU can really tell whether what you found today was true love, or whether or not you should really stay at home.

The true purpose of horoscopes is to serve as reminders about certain tendencies that we all have. While they do group people into certain categories with certain traits and predispositions, it doesn't mean that EVERYONE in that horoscope group will act in exactly the same way all the time. (Or that every Aquarian will get up today to work--Paul and I have exactly the same birthday, and I'm sure he ain't getting up anytime soon today.)

To me, reading my daily horoscope is like meditating and then opening a book (or the Bible) on a page where I feel I will receive an important message, or like watching a movie or a TV show and then finding a line that particularly calls out to me: I get out of the message what I bring into it. If I consciously ask for guidance about something that's been on my mind, and if I tune in to the Universe and the energies that surround me, then I know that I will receive the message that I am seeking. Sometimes, it will be as literal as, "Don't be so judgemental on others" or Nike's famous tagline: "Just do it." Other times, it will need a bit of time and reflection to interpret, such as another message I got today: "All things are in the act of change; thou thyself in ceaseless transformation and partial decay, and the whole universe with thee."

So the next time you read your horoscope, don't start jumping for joy when it says, "You will win something today", or don't lock yourself in only because it says, "Beware of loss or accidents today." Instead, reflect on what it is really telling you about a certain situation, conflict, or point of discernment, and then try to distill the message that it is telling YOU about YOUR life. When it says "You will win something today," it could be a new friend, a new client, a new insight, or something that you badly need (and not necessarily material or monetary.) When it says, "Beware of loss or accidents today," it could be the loss of a friendship because of something that you said, or it could be an accident involving something that you were not supposed to do or say.

When it comes to horoscopes (or messages, or Bible passages, or anything else out there) there can be--and very often will be--many interpretations. The best way to know the real answers would be to clarify your thoughts and intentions, rid yourself of whatever excess baggage is currently bringing you down, and really, TRULY knowing yourself and the Source of all that is within you.

Try it out Ü